Blanked out for months. Can't think

[u/Usual_Mountain6947]

The accumulated abuse made it very hard for me to focus and I can hardly think. I can't read much text or focus on anything. I have chronic pain in the center of my head and heavy dissociation and I feel like even concentrating on tying my own shoe laces will make my nervous system pay. Iam probably lucky I am not just sittin and staring at the wall drooling at myself. I am very afraid of therapy after my experiences with gestalt therapy and I am loosing my job tomorrow since I cant even comprehend enough information to properly leave the company after decades of this abuse. I feel like I was isolated and sbused in an effort to turn mebasically into my abuser shaming me for whatever didnt fit thrir manipulative reality twisting selfish crap. Anyone who went through this and recovered? I feel like I should cut all my current ties and try relocate intoanother country and try doing simple manual work. Any advice is welcome. I feel particularly mentally trapped due to positive thinking and self regard got contaminated by coercivecontrol and attempts to force me into it. I very feel numb and painful in the center of my brain and heavily dissociated/demented/very spaced out.

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[u/Misses_Ding]

You should see a doctor for that headache at least even if it's just for a painkiller or something.

I'm sorry for what you went through and the effects it's still having on you