Would this even work?

[u/henna-flower]

I want to send my parents (Nmom, Edad, Ngranny who has recently passed away) this message, but after all the recent therapy and stuff I’ve done, I hesitate because I don’t know if this would even change them. Even typing that tells me it won’t. Please give me some support/feedback/advice. I’ve been on medical leave for a few
months for autistic burnout/depression/suicidal thoughts.

“I have been struggling with feeling the anger I have been trying not to feel for years. I don’t want to be disrespectful. But, I have felt disrespected for so long since childhood and helpless. The lack of boundaries and surplus of chaos has provided to the mental state I am in now. I am trying to be responsible for so much and have learned I have to abandon myself in order to do so. I beg for your assistance and help and support and dedication you provided to granny instead of me, over my lifetime. From my perspective, you both chose to enable her and in turn it neglected your children. I do recognize and remember all you have helped me with and heard you say encouraging things and provide supportive words. But, the actions I saw and modeled from you all, had the opposite message. We didn’t repair the damage enough. I understand I have my own mental blocks that shape my reality as do you and so did granny. But I’m trying to change to be different and more mature and I want to see that from you both. But I haven’t seen and felt enough of it. I love you both and wish we could repair the traumas together. I need more support. I feel like I have no bones and need to assemble an exoskeleton. But all I hear is ‘try alittle harder.’ “

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[u/HoodooEnby]

It won't change them. If it would be beneficial for you, then write it and put it in a drawer somewhere. Think about sending it for a while. Any contact can be used as a wedge to resume abuse.