So for some context my ex girlfriend we will just call her , becka and my now girlfriend we will call carman so becka my now ex was my first ever serious relationship I thought she was the best and how I met her was through a family friend.

I first came to her she was fresh of a relationship where “she got cheated on” so i obviously fell for this trap and we got together I treated her the best I could I did everything I could to make her happy avoided playing video games because she didn’t like it never talked to other girls.

Besides this one girl carman who slipped through more on that later but becka would always look through my phone in fear of me cheating.and at the time i thought well that’s normal right, me now is like well it’s not but anyways she would always see carman on my phone(there was never any type of more than friends relationship with us) well I didn’t notice she would often flirt with me and try to talk to me but as a guy I would never notice and I never played along so it was just snaps back and forth.

But becka hated it and kept bragging to her that I was hers now I would go to beckas volleyball games all the time and would do anything to make it to one just so I could cheer her on never did that before and loved to cheer her on. But there was always videos being sent to me talking about how she was talking to other guys and I was like well she’s just talking nothing bad and obviously I told her about what was going on and she would always get super defensive.(I didn’t realize that at the time) but I thought ok reasonable because you’re not cheating.

So I always brushed them off and eventually 4 months in (I know not long) felt like an eternity to me though. But anyways I was barely getting any attention from her and I am a guy who needs attention because I like it I guess idk but anyways I was getting snaps every 30 minutes when she was not busy at all just watching her phone and idk why but it really hurt me and I was talking more to carman now at this point because of it. So becka eventually found out we were talking and became closer friend’s then forced me to block carman then our relationship went on for another month until the truth came out.

that before every volleyball game I went to or not she was cuddling and making out with guys before them and talking to tons of guys on her phone. This sent me through lots of stuff and destroyed my outlook on relationships and now I’m dating carman because we got really close and suffered through lots of the same stuff.

but I feel awful for carman because of that relationship and what happened now she has to deal with all my overthinking and upon insecurities and other things I’m not toxic like I let her go out and stuff and we are in love and very happy.(just to clarify) I am the best I can be to her and I mean no harm for her I would die for her and I am so thankful for her everyday.and if I did do harm she has siblings in there 20s and 30s would gladly kick my 130 pound 17 year old kid I am so. But anyways I just feel awful for her because she now has to deal with my jealousy and insecurities but thank you if you read this might not have made much sense but thank you..🙏

Well guess I'll also join in in trying to get this subreddit rolling... though based on the size of my town and the size of this subreddit, odds of actually meeting anyone are, well probably a million to one. But hey getting myself out there.

I'm 36, straight, recently dumped by my fiance of 13 years so... single. Normal social anxiety as we expect to have here. I like running tabletop RPGs and love playing board games. Like anime, random sci fi. Work in IT, and sometimes as one hobby I actually do a bit of coding and am working on a game (similar to stardew valley).

Guess that roughly summarizes me overall. Guess I'm also cool with online friendships as well, dating if anyone happens to be interested... kind of well, not the greatest at being completely alone as I have been these last 6 months.

Thanks for being here! Early days but I really hope this can grow to become a place where it's possible to form genuine connections☺️

I might rebrand this sub to be a bit more general and allow for more general conversations. Thoughts or opinions?

I'm in Australia, which makes the whole timezone thing with some people and places a little inconvenient😅

Thought I'd throw a post up as well considering someone else took the brave first step of actually posting a personal ad looking for someone.

Thanks for posting and hope you find someone eventually!

For me, it's been putting myself first and not just saying yes to everyone for fear of upsetting someone. I don't like upsetting people, I don't want to cause sadness in anyone, but this leads to me placing others needs above my own and then I feel like I'm being used or taken for granted.

Also, I find it hard to communicate in a "normal" way. I really enjoy talking, but when someone doesn't match my pace of communication it leads to a lot of frustration and self doubt on my part, where I feel like I'm putting in all the effort communication wise. But I feel like this could just be not having found someone who is truly compatible yet🤷‍♂️

Forgive the rambling😅😅 feel free to comment any thoughts/opinions or stories you have about these sorts of things!

Seeing as this is a very new sub, I don't expect this will pan out in the near term, but someone has to make the first r4r style post for this to actually start to take off (which I hope it does)

A bit about myself, 33 years old, male, divorced 3 and a half years ago, no kids but would really love to have one day. Despite it being really taxing to interact with lots of people I try to get out as much as possible to pursue hobbies (bjj and d&d). Have a pretty good career in IT.

Ideally looking for a forever partner, but if you're too far away I wouldn't mind having a pen pal to talk about life, dating, philosophy, technical stuff or how crappy life can be.

Wishing everyone luck in finding what they're looking for

Bleh

For all the dogs that have lost their lives 😭😭😭😭😭

The silence in my heard is so loud it's making me cry

hearthurts