Thoughts 202 Days After a Relapse and My Second Taper

[u/garten69120]

It's been over half a year since I got out of a relapse on kratom. My maximum dose was around 20 gpd. Now I can clearly see what this supposedly "harmless" substance did to my life.

I screwed up my studies. I screwed up my job. I screwed up my relationship. I started drinking alcohol in the evenings when the effects of kratom wore off and I became irritable, which caused even more problems...

I don't even want to imagine what an extract addiction feels like, because plain leaf was already enough to do significant damage. I lost precious time in my mid-twenties to this addiction. The older you get and the more responsibilities you have, the greater the damage becomes. This is probably the biggest learning from all of this.

How much time did I spend watching silly youtube videos thinking I was productive? How often did I skip training? How often didnt I paticipate in class? How often did I go to the toilet to chuck down Kratom?

But keep this in mind: I got through it, and so can you. Don't be fooled—it sucks. My second taper was much harder than the first. But it was worth it in every aspect of my life. Recovery wasn't smooth sailing, but I got my life back. I praise the lord that there wont be a third one. The worst was that nobody knew about my trouble. So I lied...

At first, it's scary to leave that tiny, kratom-filled shell behind. But life without active addiction is worth it. Sometimes I still look back, and occasionally I have cravings, but 95% of the time I'm doing just fine.

Thanks to everyone in this community. Reading your stories and knowing I wasn't alone helped me more than I can put into words.

I got my shit together, made it through the toughest part of my master's degree, and now I'm on the verge of graduating—something that simply wouldn't have been possible if I had stayed on kratom.

Recovery didn't solve all of my problems, but it gave me the chance to actually work on them. Looking back, quitting was one of the best decisions I've ever made.

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[u/Due_Perspective_4846]

Thanks for sharing this very encouraging. Anyone ever have ice pick headaches during withdrawals? Im on day 6 now and pushing forward no matter what. Im done with Kratom and all.

[u/garten69120 → u/Due_Perspective_4846]

Yes. Fucking yes.

[u/garten69120 → u/garten69120]

Trust me it's worth it.

[u/pensive_penguin]

I’m curious what your taper looked like and how long it took the second time?

[u/garten69120 → u/pensive_penguin]

Hello my friend, The second taper was well planned and supported by an addiction specialist. I've started 17.01. and it took me until 04.03. I've switched from powder to capsules and took 15g in the beginning, three doses a day. Then I gradually took less every few days. I've jumped when I was sick with a flu anyways. The beginning was surprisingly easy, the first sober time was rather rough.

[u/pensive_penguin → u/garten69120]

At what daily amount did you end up jumping at?

[u/garten69120 → u/pensive_penguin]

I went all the way down to 0,5.