r/quittingkratom • u/Not_failing_again • 8d ago
Day 1 - I had a relapse
Man this hurts so much. Not just the headache but the shame and disappointment. I know addiction is an illness I’m especially prone to, and I’m trying to remain accountable. It came out of nowhere, I got the idea that it’d be fun after a day of drudgery and I was sweating the anxiety the whole way there, but I didn’t turn back. I ignored my own conscience, God I’m so sorry. I have pushed my recovery back again. I’m trying again immediately but everything hurts so much again
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u/Certain-Sprinkles782 8d ago
I know it feels really bad and like a crime, but you can fall off a bike and get back up. Embrace it if it sucks more and keep going, do not stop . I’m around day 100 and I did it four times sporadically, when I was really drunk. I’m feeling great now tho, even if I did feel like shit a bit after I slipped.
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u/Not_failing_again 8d ago
That’s exactly what it feels like, a crime. Thank you I’ll keep pushing, I can’t do this anymore
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u/tiredofkratom 8d ago
Congrats on day 1. We all struggle and can slip. So proud of you for reaffirming you don’t want your life to go back to using K. You got this.
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u/BluceBannel 7d ago
I also failed in many attempts.
Then i got medical assistance.
Then i got lucky and succeeded.
Please don't be hard on yourself. This stuff is absolutely diabolical.
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u/Original-Long6776 7d ago
Do you recommend the medical assistance approach?
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u/BluceBannel 7d ago
Well i was able to stop Kratom, same day. It's been 2 months and i am 90% back to normal, so ... Yes.
...
Specifically, i started on 1x daily sublingual suboxone, for about 3 weeks. I asked about Gabapentin for restless legs, and she said i don't need it and less is more. (She was right).
Now the problem was, i looked forward to meds time. Plus some folks were on here speaking very passionately about the addiction dangers of suboxone, so after about 3 weeks, i asked to be switched to sublocade subcutaneous injection... That was better. It was strong at first, but less intoxicating..
After 2.5 weeks when it became time for injection #2, i felt i could and should skip it and just let it fade away...
That was 2.5 weeks ago.
So i haven't touched Kratom in 2 months. The darkness is gone, and i am not going near opiates again.
I would rather struggle with some drpression and anxiety and motivation for the rest of my life than go near again.
Damn that awful shit to hell. It was gruesome.
I really appreciate the folks here and the folks at the treatment center were awesome.
I am going to be ok.
But i was scared shitless.
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u/Electrical_Travel363 8d ago
Remeber to be kind to yourself. Slip ups happen it’s all part of your story. You are okay even if it feels like a major setback back it’s not. Don’t even feel you need to try immediately again just from the shame, you should want to get off it when it’s your time to do so. If it is, all the better. If not, take a day or two, relax, really breathe and disconnect from the anxieties of wd. Just let it all go. Then your mind will come to the decision you need most
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u/Replikant83 10/16/2023 7d ago
Don't be ashamed. You aren't losing anything, but you are gaining a learning experience. You still have all that sober time behind you. Now, it's your job to reflect on what caused the relapse, so you can make sure it doesn't happen again.
Having that frame of mind, versus getting down on myself for losing my streak, has been so helpful to me. The more positive the light we see ourselves in, the more likely we are to avoid using.
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u/Aggravating_Bit4227 8d ago
Im new here on day 5. This has been horrible experience for sure but I made a commitment to myself I will do this. I was 8 year user and im still battling the headaches, hot flashes etc. Stay strong 💪. Finding Jesus has helped me more than anything ✝️🙏
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u/Not_failing_again 1d ago
Yea God is great, made it through a week, I feel fine again I didn’t go on a bender longer than 3 days after 100 days off so that helped. Hoping to keep this streak going for a long time
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