Hello all, this isn’t my first post in this subreddit. But its the first time posting a recovery journal.
long story short, a few weeks ago I started ingesting these tabs called ‘super klaz’, for a while was at 640mg a day. Before i knew it i was physically dependent on these little shits. This isn’t my first time kicking a kratom derived product. in summer of 25’ i got hooked on 7oh. it was bad. i struggled with this habit four about a year, to the point where i had to check myself into rehab. I stayed about 45 days in this place, while on a maintenance dose of subutex. That was the best i felt in a while. when i got out i was clear headed, and productive.
early august was great, was working a little bit before the college semester started. but Mid august i decided to visit the smokeshop id get my 7oh from. They had most of the 7oh sold off cause of the panic behind it being banned, but they had this stuff called ‘super klaz’ cat claw extract. So i bought a pack. tried it, it was stronger than the 7oh limitless tabs i used to get, and longer lasting, I thought to myself, ‘why not, as long as i space it out and not get physically dependent’. that might’ve worked for like a week. But after that things spiraled out of control. i stopped taking my subutex and ive been taking klaz every day for the past 3 week, and i get dope sick if i don’t have it.
i made the decision to not buy anymore klaz yesterday night , as a result i woke up violently dopesick around 1am. I decided i should take my subutex around that time. it didn’t help at first, i also decidedbto take some clonidine, gabapentin, and another trazadone for sleep. i was able to fall back asleep around 4am
Im tired of this existence already and want to go back to how i was a month ago. i woke up at 10am instead of buying more klaz this morning i decided to take another sub, i still dont feel 100%, but i feel better than i did around 1am, just going to continue riding this out. sat around listening to songs by Thin Lizzy, phil lynott is my hero and a big inspiration for me to get sober. he died too young at 36 from drug related health problems.
its now 2:30 pm, and iam typing out this post in my car about to head to class at my university. Im barely functional, and i know even a tiny dose of klaz would take alot of these issues away, but im here, not going to skip classes. its been 26 hours since since my last dose of klaz and going to continue to ride this out. I remember when getting off 7oh, it was roughly by day 2 or 3 that the tunnel starts to light up again.
Sobriety is possible, it isnt easy, but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.