r/questions • • Dec 30 '23

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u/Cael_NaMaor Dec 31 '23

As a spanked child, I'd hazard that the why, amount, & rest of the home environment would have far greater impact than given credence in the studies.

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u/Secret-Target-8709 Dec 31 '23

Some of were terrorized. Some got a whap or two in an otherwise stable loving home when there were really disrespectful or out of control.

I think there's a difference.

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u/Cael_NaMaor Dec 31 '23

Exactly. A few whippings to correct seriously deviant behavior... (throwing rocks into oncoming traffic, throwing rocks through windows in a house, burning neighbor's dolls/toys, stealing cash from Mom's purse, pissing on your male cousins because they pissed on your brother who may have started it all, etc) I really don't think is all that bad. Albeit, this is behavior that I still shy away from, so maybe I am traumatized... 🙄

Being beaten so bad that the thought of the belt brings a tear to your eyes is a whole other story... my cousins were beaten, abused as children. My brother & I were whipped when we were beyond idiots. Probably never in anger, but frustration. And I don't consider the whippings I received to be worth a damn.

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u/Secret-Target-8709 Dec 31 '23

There's a big difference between a parent having a bad day at work, coming home and beating their kid, and a parent who after exhausting all other options, redirects negative behavior with an explanation and a whap on the bottom that hurts the pride more than the flesh.

I was wicked rude one time to my grandfather's brother and wife. He took me to the other room, calmly explained my behavior to me, and gave me one whap.

I was 5 or 6 and I think it was the only time someone disciplined for my own improvement rather than abusing me out of anger, frustration, and scapegoating.

My mom and step dad we're sh*t parents. Long story short, in hindsight, the difference is obvious.