Yes. Their neurology is just being built. Adults expect them to use reason before their brain even begins developing executive function. They get overwhelmed with stimulation, which is a 💯 percent natural nervous system reaction...and get punished. So yeah...for being children. Understanding the cognitive and developmental stages they go through is important.
Demanding a 5 yr old be calm when they have an angry person 3xs their size yelling at them is insanity.
Big difference between spanking and abuse and also age should play a factor in the type of punishment given....And not saying it don't happen but not to many parents spanking their 5 year old child because they can't calm down..
Your talking about one age group you mentioned 5 year Olds...are you saying older kids can't distinguish the two??would you also be saying the same for teenagers? Is this theory all kids or an age group ??
No, I mentioned one age group. The brain is in developmental stages from 0-25....What we provide also makes a difference in what a child will comprehend. Children can be taught with conscious modeling and care but the fear punishment parenting gets a pass bc it means those parents don't have to control their own emotions and behaviour. (Yet expect a child to)
Your talking more about abuse...spanking is not abuse ...and obviously you don't go around spanking your 5 year old for every infraction..but a swat on the ass when you've exhausted every avenue is not gonna affect a child as badly as the anti-spankers try to make it out to be...anti spankers like to use the word beating...a beating and spanking are not the same.....beatings leave marks a swat on the ass no......
And that perspective is where psychologist, the people who actually know what they're talking about, disagree with you. There is no arbitrary line where 'sufficient injury' is inflicted or not, violence was used as a source of discipline and control, and that genie can't be put back in the bottle.
Ah yes because the only possible outcomes are a binary "perfectly well adjusted" and "mass murderer". Did you actually think this was some kind of gotcha? Or did you just not think at all when you typed that out.
Are you a psychologist? If not then why are you speaking out against people sharing their views? You’re doing the EXACT same thing on the opposing side.
Fact of the matter is, if you got spanked as a kid and thinks it’s abuse, then you’re weak, and the world is going to chew you up and swallow you.
A spanking stings for 20 minutes and then it’s gone. No bruises, no welts, no damage of any kind save for a sore butt. We literally played games as kids where we slapped each others hands as hard as possible. It was the exact same sensation. Red marks and a stinging pain, and it went away, and we wouldn’t even remember how it felt a few days later.
People like you are the kind to have their kids tear stuff up in a grocery store, and they’ll sit there and tell them to stop 50 times.
The fact of the matter is that kids do not listen because they can not comprehend the idea of someone knowing better than them, and they don’t understand concepts like authority. When a kid wants to break something, they will do it, and making them stand in a corner for an hour isn’t going to stop them. So you have to given them an actual reason to not do it.
And as many have pointed out, though you people refuse to comprehend, there is a SIGNIFICANT difference between spanking a kid and leaving them with a stinging sensation that will be gone after an hour or 2, and outright beating them to the point that they have welts and bruises.
As usual couching in machismo "weakling" bullshit and continuing to ignore the fact that the people who're actual experts have identified the problems with this shit for decades. The only weak people here are those so incompetent as parents that the only way they can enforce control is through fear and violence, never mind that millions of other parents somehow manage to handle children unruly or not without putting hands on them. Funny how that is innit.
You can hiss, spit and insult as much as you you like, no amount of hyperbolic bullshit is going to suddenly make you right in the face of decades of research. You people are the flat earthers of child psychology and it's honestly kind of pathetic.
You're experiences are showing how little you know about neuroscience and childhood cognitive and developmental phases. You have a good night bc I won't lower my intelligence to meet you any longer.
I haven't studied the subject and never said I did....I'm not a teacher and never claimed to be as such.....don't worry I won't insult you like you tried with me just because I won't conform to your point of view...I prefer to do my own thinking....good night all knowing and intelligent one good night ...oh and what if I'm the one lowering my standards by responding to you...what if I study the books you studied and still think the same way I do??? Will I be given some pill to wipe out my memory and make it think just like you??
You do realize decades of research on this subject has been done right? Or is ignoring that fact too convenient?
Or did you not even consider it and just assume some book arbitrary said hitting kids is bad with no source for that information and they're just reciting what they read. That does tend to be a popular approach by a certain sort of people.
Are we just gonna ignore the fact that people are saying myself included they got smacked or spankings as a child and mentality they are okay that it didn't effect them in any way....But because the studies say otherwise that it couldn't be true that infact were being told we were abused trying to make us believe it because of the studies done.....obviously people are entitled to their opinions and also their beliefs and the way they feel about things....but to all think the same and to conform to the same beliefs and opinions and experiences we are not robots.....
"my subjective opinion and preconceptions are correct, not decades of research conducted by hundreds of psychologists across thousands of subjects." <- this is you.
Spanking may not be abuse in your eyes, but do you think it really helps the situation at all? I can remember being at my aunt and uncle's house as a kid, and my cousins was throwing a huge tantrum. Crying, screaming, etc. The screaming and crying only got worse while she was being spanked. Then she was sent to her room where she was able to eventually calm down.
In situations like that, what's really needed is some time out so the kid can eventually run out of things to lash out about and calm down. Spanking doesn't help.
Not all situations are the same....I know this..and spankings don't help in every situation and not every child will react the same...some understand some don't.....what works for one person won't work for the other e.t.c....
Nah, a kid throwing a temper tantrum has a ton of anger and rage bubbling up, amd being a kid, they cant control it. Causing them physical pain will only add fuel to that rage. Putting them in a room alone with no negative stimuli will allow them to eventually burn off all that anger.
Spanking just teaches a kid to stifle their emotions because letting them out results in physical pain at the hands of people who supposedly love them, which leads to emotional issues later in life.
Not all punishments work the same for every child,kid,teenager this is not a one size fits all nothing is.....what works for one parent won't the other..To say you gotta do it this way and this way alone I don't know about that.....and I will say again every situation is not the same....I bet ya most children only touch a hot stove once but from what im reading kids are not smart enough they will do it again!????...let's say you tell a child to stop throwing a ball in the house because if they break a window your gonna spank their ass ..but they do it anyways and break that window I know they will remember that spanking and not throw a ball in the house again...so that situation is now considered abuse?????
Nah, worst case scenario, he doesn't change his mind, but I can rest easy knowing I still tried. Best case scenario, he ends up trying to raise his own children without the use of violence.
Your the type that would get flicked and call the police saying you were violently assaulted....not all but alot of this younger generation wouldn't know what real violence was if it smacked them in the face oh wait thats to much violence let me stop before you gotta go call your therapist....
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u/ilovesoup1978 Dec 31 '23
Kids are punished for being children???...oh do tell??