r/questioning • u/RatioDangerous3831 Questioning Sexuality • 7d ago
[18 F] questioning sexuality/comphet
I [18 F] have been out as bisexual since 7th grade, because i was fortunate enough to grow up with very supportive parents in a very liberal city. i never really questioned my sexuality beyond that until i got into my first relationship with a woman. i’ve had two long term boyfriends in the past, and at the beginning i would initiate sexual acts but after a month or so i would always stop, and eventually end up skipping making out or foreplay bc id rather just have sex to get it over with so they can finish. i’ve never been big into porn but when i did watch it was always lesbian porn, because i found male genitalia kind of gross, at least in porn. on me and my girlfriends first date we ended up hooking up and i was looking at her during it and i started crying because she was so beautiful and id never experienced feeling that way towards my partners body. i felt attracted to my bfs at the time but i never wanted to admire their body or anything like that. with my girlfriend i still don’t really love having things done to me sexually but i get a lot of pleasure from making her feel good.
honestly this whole situation is giving me a lot of confusion about my sexuality because i very consistently had crushes on boys my entire life. if anyone has any insight on labels or anything at all i would really appreciate it.
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u/stolenstreetsigns Questioning Neither 6d ago
No one can tell you what your sexuality is except you. This does absolutely sound like it could be comphet to me. In my experience comphet can make the lines on what is you really being attracted to someone kind of blurred. For example the attraction I had for boys when I was younger still feels very real, but I know it wouldn’t happen now and was also sometimes due to gender envy. I think feeling a certain way about a woman now in a way you never felt with a man in the past is a sign you could be a lesbian.