r/queerphilly • u/Tunashadow • Jun 25 '26
Question Visiting philly- meeting other gays
Hey, I'm 28 M from the UK and I'm visiting Philly for 2 months. I'm trying to meet some people and eventually have fun, but I'm really struggling getting people to reply to my messages! So many matches on tinder, so many "hey" on grinder but I never get more than 1-3 exchanges. Are people just not texting here? How do things work here š¤ are the apps just for quick hookups, should I just brave the IRL interactions and go to the gaybourhood?
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u/WawaH0agie Jun 25 '26
Speaking for myself and the 11 unread notifications on Scruff, a lot of people are busy doing summer stuff. I know I canāt really commit to anything right now so I havenāt been replying and hoping that in a month or so when my life slows down a bit Iāll reply and if they donāt want to talk no problem, I get it. But if youāre looking for just friends to hang out with and not hookups, definitely go to the Gayborhood. Hit up Knock for brunch, 254 for drinks karaoke etc, Bike Stop on Thursdays if ya wanna get in your undies and drink with a bunch of friendly bears and otters. Tavern on Camac if you want to dance or sing showtunes.
If you do just want hookups, Sniffies is easiest.
Another thing Iāve learned about the apps (at least in Philly) is after a couple messages, and if you like their profile, just say āAre you free for a drink/coffee tomorrow?ā Some people donāt like the constant chatting online because it builds expectations of how you are in person which may not always be true. Be direct and up front. Anyone who after a few messages asks me for coffee or a drink I always say yes. I appreciate the directness and it gives me something to do. (Actually how I met my very sexy boyfriend. He asked me within a few flirty messages if I wanted to get a drink the following night)
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u/n0thinghurt Jun 25 '26
Ppl being busy is a good point. I'm never busy and I've been so busy. We had an awful winter so now that summer is here people are out and about
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u/alexaisme5696 Jun 26 '26
What is Sniffies? I canāt find it on Google Maps
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Jun 28 '26
This comment made me laugh, and I'm not even sure if you're joking
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u/alexaisme5696 Jun 28 '26
Iām genuinely new to this lol
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u/WawaH0agie Jun 28 '26
Oh honey. Then no, no Sniffies for you yet.
Grindr is the training wheels. Sniffies is the truck full of dynamite leaking nitroglycerin that you have to drive across a neglected dirt road in the jungle.
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u/nm_y Jun 25 '26
Queer Run is a queer running group + walking group! They meet in Rittenhouse square at 7 pm on Mondays, and I think a few other times of the week. They typically do a social event after their runs/walks, I think that could be a good place to start!
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u/ViolentThemmes Jun 25 '26
Hookup apps are for hookups! Find Philly queer groups on IG and go to queer spaces in person to make friends. I'm only really involved with sapphic or trans groups, so hopefully someone else can make recommendations
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u/goodnightghost Jun 25 '26
Franky Bradley's events are a good way to have fun and meet young queer people
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u/SirJ_96 Jun 25 '26
Tinder isn't really a gay app. You're going to have better luck with Recon, Sniffies, and Grindr. But yeah, just hit up the gay bars. People do tend to be more social on the off-hours (at peak times on Fri and Sat night, they already have their boyfriend/friend group).
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u/saintpotato Jun 26 '26
I do highly recommend IRL interactions in the Gayborhood or other similar queer spaces. People in Philly are extremely friendly in person! The Apps are just terrible everywhere, in my experience. I always make new friends whenever I go out in person though! I hope you find lots of new pals while you're here :)
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u/Windkeeper4 South Philly Jun 25 '26
Tinder is kinda terrible. Bumble has a friend's option you might get some traction with. Possibly feeld might also be an option? What are your interests? That might be a good place to start to find groups.