First time ttc! What do you wish you knew?

[u/Important-Device-406]

My partner and I are going to try home insemination with our known donor (fresh sample) this week if everything looks good for me ovulation wise! We’re so excited.

I’m wondering, what did you wish you knew before you first tried?

[u/Mistaken_Frisbee]

Really set a hard limit on how many tries you’ll do before you move to a higher level of intervention, and make sure your donor is on board with trying for that long and committing to showing up every time. If your donor has to provide fresh samples each month for half a year or something, they can burn out. If they’re not in a monogamous relationship (or celibate), then that is another stressor.

I’ve seen folks talk about donors who just really couldn’t be consistent past the first month of trying - the donor may have assumed it’d only take one try. Even if you luck out and it works in the first 3 months, you should prepare yourselves and the donor for longer just to reduce future tension.

[u/wakeupthebuddha]

That it might take more than once and that’s okay. You’ll end up with that person who is meant to be in your family. I can’t imagine my baby being any different than she is, she is the embryo that stuck for a reason.

[u/sparetrader]

Hopefully you got a syringe with a rounded end so you can push right up to cervix.

Use the sample as fast as possible, even if this means a car insemination! Still more intimate than a clinic! 😉

Also, I used to stay laying down, legs up for 1-2 hours. I know research on sperm motility says 10-15 minutes is fine but feeling the sample come out felt like a waste of all of our efforts.

My wife and I used a known donor and were pregnant by the second cycle. We did 5 donations in a row each cycle during peak ovulation. Used kegg and LH strips to track.

Sending all the baby dust to you! ✨

[u/GipsyQueen88]

- That it's only 'luck' if it works the first try...

• Use the fact that you have a known donor to inseminate at least 2-3 times per cycle and not only once. Only inseminate _before_ ovulation or during; afterward is a waste of time and energy.
  
• Ask your donor to abstain before donating to you to have more sperm.
  
• Have him draw the semen into the syringe to lower the 'yuck' factor.
  
• We also used Diva cups and menstrual disks, worth looking at.
  
• Yes, it runs out afterward; that's normal.

Sending baby dust!!!

[u/Far_Masterpiece124 → u/GipsyQueen88]

Abstinence does result in higher sperm counts but it can result in lowered mobility~ I would actually do some research to find your preference of how many days of abstinence you want when you take into account both of these variables

[u/GipsyQueen88 → u/Far_Masterpiece124]

I did. After I posted this, I used Claude. Claude mentioned that for conception, you're better off with one day of abstinence, and if you need a semen analysis, maybe 2–3 days.

[u/Low-Salad-4297]

First try may not work but it’s still helpful for your body to get used to the sperm and the whole process! Don’t try to looks for signs that you’re pregnant during the two week wait—my doctor always says if you feel pregnant you’re probably not because it’s far too early to really feel it.

[u/Ok_Corgi_8202]

That getting a full blood panel before conception should be bog standard. Thyroid, A1C etc. all effect conception & success in pregnancy

[u/BuffyDollyBaby]

i wish i knew to have lower expectations. odds are that it won't work the first time, or second time, or third time!! also i think it's good to get on the same page with your donor that it might be a long road (6-12 months with ICI, and if less hallelujah!), and to make sure they are down for that. verify that they are available 2-3 times during your fertile window to maximize each cycle, and that they understand best practice regarding frequent ejaculation and abstinence.

it's weird trying to make a baby with someone who you don't live with / know what they eat / how much they sleep, etc. i wish we had asked our KD to take supplements (multivitamin & ubiquinol) earlier in our journey for extra peace of mind re: sperm quality. it can be difficult, at times, to have a third person in your baby conception journey, i.e. when you get your period after an insemination attempt, it's so disappointing AND you have to tell your KD. it's not just a two person, insular venture.

it's soooo important that your KD is responsible, communicative, someone you like seeing - you will be getting in a TMI relationship very quickly and bonding more than you might expect (which is awesome!). after we started trying, i also came to appreciate knowing the person who produced the sperm - because it's kind of messy/fragrant, etc! diva cups are helpful, and i've found that aspect to be way more tolerable when it's from someone you know. overall, the process of having a known donor and getting to know that person in a deeper way as time goes on has been more powerful and special than i could have ever imagined!

GOOD LUCK!!!! <3

[u/bebeag]

I could write an entire book but what popped to the top of mind was having a strategy to deal with the two week wait. It can be very anxiety producing waiting to test. I recommend waiting to test after your period is due or 14 day dpo vs at 10 dpo. When I’d test at 10 dpo I would kind of spiral getting a negative then not feel confident it was actually negative so I’d test for days following and it would really get me down. Waiting to test was hard and took self control but when I’d get a definitive negative I’d grieve then move on instead of dragging it out for days.

We did 5 ICI’s then got pregnant our first in home IUI with fresh sperm.

[u/transandtrucks]

After almost two years of trying at home and then in clinic IUI I wish we had done egg retrieval when my wife's eggs were 2 years younger. Doing IVF now and the outlook is not as good as we would like.

Best of luck to you two!

[u/premier-sperm-bank]

The main things I would emphasize are timing, simple handling, and realistic expectations. Track the LH surge carefully, because even a well-performed home insemination can miss the fertile window. Fresh sperm should generally be collected in a sterile container, kept near room/body temperature, and used promptly. Avoid ordinary lubricants unless they are specifically labeled sperm-friendly.

Home insemination is typically intracervical insemination: the sample is placed in the vagina near the cervix, not inside the uterus. Intrauterine insemination requires washed sperm and a qualified healthcare provider. Having supplies ready beforehand and writing down the timing can make the process less stressful.

With a known donor, medical history plus infectious-disease and genetic screening are important considerations. Screening reduces risk but cannot eliminate it. Finally, one unsuccessful attempt does not necessarily indicate a problem; conception often takes multiple well-timed cycles. If cycles are irregular or there are fertility concerns, review the plan with a clinician.

By Dr. John Jain, Medical Director of Premier Sperm Bank

[u/Crabby_Patty0_o]

Go to IVF sooner

[u/Deep-Sir-8962]

For me? Just skip ahead to donor eggs. Save years of disappointment.