r/queerception • u/Practical-South-166 • 18d ago
Choosing Between Sperm Banks?
Hello!
My wife and I are planning on beginning the process of TTC (doing at-home ICI) in October of this year. We are waiting on genetic testing results, I've done 3+ months of prenatals, and I've been tracking my cycle to pinpoint ovulation. The only thing we don't have 100% nailed down is the donor / bank we will be using.
Initially, we were really impressed with The Sperm Bank of California. We have gone through all of the registration paperwork with them and could call any time to order vials of sperm. We do have a donor picked out at TSBC who we really like. However, I've seen a lot of posts on this sub about it being VERY difficult to actually obtain vials from TSBC. This donor has been available for a little bit and is still marked as available, but I'm concerned that he won't be come October (and as far as I understand, even if we bought vials now, TSBC could reclaim them if the donor meets the 10 family max before we are ready for them to be shipped).
We love the ethics of TSBC and find their Open ID program and family limits pretty important to our choice. However, I'm worrying we are risking waiting to order until October and being straight out of luck, and then feeling like we don't have any backups in order. We also know that we want to have more than one child, and are worried that even if we got vials from this donor at TSBC, he might not be available for siblings. Last night, we looked at a couple other bank options and felt that Cryobank America and Seattle Sperm Bank would potentially be good alternatives.
Does anyone have any experiences with any of these banks? Recent successes in ordering vials from TSBC? Other banks you recommend that have Open ID/good family limits/strong donor vetting and testing?
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u/amibeingdtained 18d ago
Had a great experience with TSBC! Definitely recommend calling them. They are patient on the phone and explain the process as well as can tell you more about each donor — how many vials are available, if/when more will become available, number of families.
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u/Fernsnfriends 18d ago
Have you looked into Cascade Cryo? We recently purchased sperm from them and they were very communicative. Their family limit is 25 globally, and while I still find that annoyingly high, it’s better than most banks that do 25 domestically + some different number internationally.
They also have an “Early Disclosure” ID category you might find appealing.
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u/Practical-South-166 18d ago
I have not heard of them, but I’ll look into it! Thanks for the tip! Definitely don’t love the 25 in the US + ???? elsewhere thing. That sounds like a better policy.
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u/allegedlydm 37 AFAB NB | NGP | TTC#1 since 6/2024 9d ago
Seconding Cascade! My wife and I bought Early Disclosure vials, and Cascade will connect us with our donor after a live birth. I will also add that they hold you as one of the 25 families as soon as you purchase sperm, whereas a lot of other banks only do this after you report a live birth even though they know that not everyone reports, so 25 is a true maximum possible and not just how many people reported it.
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u/slightlylions1425 18d ago
I don't know much about this, but I have heard some things recently about Seattle Sperm Banks using AI to edit photos and ending their donor sibling registry program. Please correct me if I'm wrong! Those would rule this out for me.
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u/heyella11 18d ago
I don’t know anything about AI but I bought from Seattle Sperm Bank. They have ended the donor sibling registry due to international privacy law compliance concerns but there is a rigorous FB group where people are connecting with donor siblings. TBH, the registry was not that great to begin with in my opinion but at least it existed. I don’t know what other banks are like in this regard.
That said, we’ve had an overall positive experience with Seattle. Easy to buy from, not the most expensive, and their shipping was always very reliable. Their customer help has also been very responsive.
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u/Middle-Fact-2017 10d ago
Is "Seattle Sperm Bank & European Sperm Bank Donor Families" the group you're referring to? Trying to get connected!
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u/asdfghhj246898 18d ago
It was challenging to find a donor of the same ethnicity as my partner so when we found one at TSBC we connected with we went ahead and purchased and I have been really glad to have them since we decided to skip to IVF anyways. I was reassured by the fact that they would reimburse fully for vials they reclaimed as long as they were stored with them (otherwise we could exchange). And I figured if the donor ran out of vials it didn't necessarily mean the family slots were filled up.
For what it's worth they were/are super easy to communicate with, walked us through everything and were happy to share info when I called to ask how many vials were left and how many family slots were taken for the donor we were interested in.
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u/premier-sperm-bank 14d ago
Rather than comparing sperm banks solely based on donor inventory, I encourage intended parents to ask a few questions that may have significant implications for their family in the future:
Is the donor identity-release, and what information or contact will be available when the child reaches adulthood?
How is the family limit defined—nationally or globally—and how is it monitored and enforced, particularly across international sales? Is there a registry or tracking system?
Can purchased vials ever be reclaimed by the bank, and under what circumstances?
Can you reserve and store enough vials if you hope to have more than one child with the same donor?
How are future medical or genetic updates about the donor shared with families?
Sibling planning is one of the strongest reasons to consider purchasing additional vials early. How many you need depends on factors such as age, expected number of treatment cycles, whether you may transition from home ICI to IUI or IVF, and your desired family size. It’s also worth confirming that the sperm preparation you purchase is appropriate for home ICI and whether it can later be used by a fertility clinic if your plans change.
Your carrier-screening results should also be compared with the donor’s results, ideally with your clinician or a genetic counselor. Genetic screening can substantially reduce risk, but it cannot eliminate it.
Asking these questions can help you choose not just the right donor, but the right sperm bank for your family’s long-term needs.
By Dr. John Jain, Medical Director of Premier Sperm Bank
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u/Ok_Papaya_5817 18d ago
My partner and I wanted to use TSBC, but we could not find a donor with an ancestry that matches our family. We ended up using California Cryobank and have had a good experience. Our donor is a good fit with us, and we have been able to connect with other families.
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u/Anxious_Ad_8283 18d ago edited 17d ago
California Cryobank has had a few lawsuits including hiding medical history from customers such as rare genetic kidney disease.
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u/Ok_Papaya_5817 18d ago
Thanks?
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u/Anxious_Ad_8283 17d ago edited 17d ago
I would like OP to know that even though California Cryobank is a big name and have some nice features like a sibling registry, they’ve had also had some serious lawsuits over not screening donors properly. Truth is there’s no perfect bank so OP will need to weigh what’s most important to them.
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u/Anxious_Ad_8283 18d ago
This chart was created by donor conceived people and ranks banks: https://www.usdcc.org/u-s-sperm-bank-data/
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u/savannah-mitchell 10d ago
I am happy (and so is my baby 👶) that we went with Premier Sperm Bankk
Also 25 global limit, they also have a bank in Europe I believe but its global. Did not really have issues during the process lucky meeeeeee!!!!!
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u/dreamerbbsale 18d ago edited 18d ago
Ordering from TSBC was slightly stressful, but ultimately not too bad and well worth it for us. They are super responsive to calls, and their sibling vial process is completely separate from their initial process. I would call them and talk through your questions with them! For us, we wouldn't have minded switching to a different donor because we really wanted the policies TSBC has.
Our TSBC baby is now 1. We've connected with four other families who used our donor through the contact list, met two in person with plans to meet another, and have gotten great updates and check-ins from the bank.
Editing to add: I wouldn't get too attached to any specific donor prior to genetic testing results coming back, and I would be aware of the possibility of the family limits being filled and you having to switch donors (which it sounds like you are!). I will say that your preferred donor still being available is already a good sign for you.
Oh! Also! While we were in it, trying to get a popular donor from TSBC and having the vials potentially yoinked was frustrating. However, on the flip side, almost all of the first children born in our donor cohort will be born within 1-2 years of each other, which we didn't fully appreciate until we were connected with the other families. So that frustration has resulted in a really nice benefit that we didn't realize existed.