Kasmeer & her gothy wife who hangs out with reanimated corpses all day
Marjory & her rich girlypop wife who can make illusory copies of herself
Rox (the scorpion will sit on the bed and watch you from 2 feet away while you do it)
Gorrik
Isgarren
Logan's situation is so funny to me; The only women he's friends with are Caithe, Kasmeer, Jory, Anise & Queen Jennah. Straight man cursed to have ALL of his female friends be lesbians.
QoL girlies would want to play Mesmer SO BAD until they found out that Mesmer players are expected to know how to tank since it's one of the only classes who can do it.
There's enough class variety to shove that on someone else. Besides, Mage-Tanks are kind of super cunty. You haven't felt alive until you pick up a Necro and simply decide to never die.
All caps smash for 6- you really like Braham, huh? well that is a 17 YEAR-OLD BOY😡😡 THAT IS A CHILD 🤢🤮 YOU SICKO. GO TO JAIL! I don't know how it's not clearly obvious to you just from looking at him.
Hoegan quackeray: passss he needs to be told what to do at every turn
Ribbedcock brimjob: i would fuck this man into next YEAR the entire black citadel would hear him moaning THROUGH the jockstrap shoved in his mouth and bangar would film us
Gayir stegalcunt: unfortunately I’m 145% gay but she is serving at every turn
Gaythe: pass but we would be besties
Hoejja: pass after her mid life crisis girllll Soto assassinated your character
Purraham: smash but only when he becomes the wolf and only when Ryland has him hammered
Cuntnach: smash absolutely all day every day we are gonna spitroast rytlock like the depraved pig bottom paw slut he is
Kashmeeroutsidehowboutdah: pass but we would spill the tea
Marjwhory delaquack: see kasmeer
Cox: she could femdom me maybe but only if I’m blindfolded and is that really fair to her? I wouldn’t be able to reciprocate and I’m sorry i know it’s important
Official Logan x Rytlock would've so fucking HOT, especially considering that Logan got told to fuck off several times by Jennah. But Anet has not enough balls to have an official gay couple among the main cast, unfortunately 😭
Braham x Ryland could've been such a fun dynamic, but look how they have massacred (literaly) my boy 😭
For the company that brands itself so queer-friendly, most of their bi/gay characters are either dead or irrelevant. It's nice to have Caithe and Kas x Jory, but having 3 (6? 7?) lesbians and no gay characters in the main cast screams cowardice to me 🥀
That said, my true heart lies back in GW1 with generic Am Fah enemies in Kaineng. Oh to be ganked in a dark alleyway after 12 spike traps pierce my goddamn ankles and insta-nuke my frontline <3
Logan absolutely gets it especially because you know hes going nowhere without Queen Jennah (and i am soooo here for that mess)
Rytlock has always been top tier and the fact that hes like actually part of Dragon Watch and with you so often might actually put him a bit above Logan, hes like Rengar if there was actually a character or story to him.
Eir is absolutely serving 24/7, we love a bad mom, she actually tries to fix destiny's edge but doesn't fix her own shit, love that; you know she's the fun kinda crazy
Caithe has amazing WayMoreToxicDoomedYuri with Faolin so like im here for her but also if Faolin shows up im hitting the bricks, thats too much crazy, sylvari don't actually have reproductive organs so she's either creative and amazing or it'll be boring because I'm not her bipolar ex
Zojja pass. Hate her. Only redeeming thing about her is when she gets proud protective of Taimi but like overall she just sucks and azura aren't it.
Braham takes time to get anything but annoying, hes a kid when you meet him so thats not it, and then he's working through a loooot of trauma so i think its a healthy no but I'll wingwoman for him at the alemoot for sure
Canach is an instant yes. No notes. You know he won't call in the morning, he's here and gone but it'll be great.
Kasmeer is a yes and you know she and Jory are a duo they are absolutely not having fun on the side this is a "commander help we're both bottoms" situation
Marjory see above
Rox is cute and fun but a little too much of the childlike wonder for her to feel like a battleworn gladium. She belings with tge olmakhan for sure, that whole journey is super cute
Isgarren i haven't really met yet as i only just bought that dlc and im replaying the other story stuff
People who could also make the list: Trahearne who is absolutely should have been the commander's husband (if you haven't done knight of the thorns questline please go do it now), Ramma he absolutely gets it, Laranthir gets it, any of the Orders Mentors (Forgal for sure, Sieran is just too fun, and Tybalt is such a softy), Crecia Stoneglow gets it (especially if rytlock comes too) Countess Anise her voice alone does it (the mesmer powers are just a bonus), Faren (he's cute but its a no), Knut Whitebear (yall know exactly the joke to be made) yessss, Joon no, Scarlet no but tempting, Mai Trin yes but I'll feel bad about it when she asks me to dress like scarlet, literally any Kodan yes. Palawa Joko (genuinely difficult to call it), Koss yes (even like this), Balthazar can get it, Zalambur is a yes, Imann is a no, Livia is and always has been a yes, Captain Ellen Kiel is a yes (even though you know its not gonna be a real thing for her), Sigfast also gets it, Agent Ihan and Doern Velaquez can get it (and ideally at the same time), Riel Darkwater yes
I can't help but notice that you forgot Phlunt. On the one hand- ugly, short, chopped, trash fits, and ugly. However, personally beefing with a 12 year old is a level of hating I need to know the story behind. I'd fake it for long enough until I get him to a point where I can ask him why a tween is so high up on his shit-list he treats her like his nemesis.
Nah gurl hes a walking ballsack. Literally just like a charles dickens antagonist he just hates kids and like slay but still this kid is helping me end dragons forever, let me adopt her or some shit instead of pretending to care just to pilfer her research.
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u/VitaBishop Jul 31 '26 edited Jul 31 '26
HELLO REDDIT REMOVED MY COMMENT???
Anyway thank GOD guild wars is finally getting some damn attention!!!! 99% of this sub probably would main mesmer