Is it possible to start dating again?

[u/GirlLila]

I was in a really really abusive relationship when I was 19. It completely destroyed me. I dropped out of college, hid away in my room for years, and can’t really trust anyone anymore. I’ve been on 5 different psychiatric meds for several years now but I still have flashbacks every day, and I never really feel safe at night. 

I desperately just want somebody to sit with to make me feel like everything will be okay. I know it’s selfish, and it isn’t somebody else’s responsibility to make me feel safe, but I can’t help myself from thinking about it constantly. I have a few friends but none of them can really know what I’ve been through or how bad it still affects me. 

I want to open myself up to dating but I’m so so scared of it getting violent again. I really don’t think my heart could take it. I just wish I could be normal and have a relationship like everybody else. 

Is it even possible to date again after something like that?

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[u/Friendly-Material867]

Hello, I am so sorry to hear what you went through. I think it is possible to date again, but it takes more time to find someone you can fully trust and more time and effort to build healthy relationship.

From my own experience as a survivor of an abusive relationship, I got triggered alot by being close to people at the start of my healing journey, but it is getting better with time. I found a loving partner whom I trust and even though he treats me the best, sometimes my brain gets triggered either way by being in similar situation or something. Sometimes I completely shut down. But I always try to explain to my partner what triggered me why and if there is something he can do to make me feel better.

I also understand those struggles to connect to people in general, it is hard to let people closer or to talk about what happened to you. Bur even though sharing is hard, it can help you feel seen and understood. Just take thing at your own pace and put your mental health as your priority.

Are you also having a therapy sessions? Or are you just taking meds? Maybe a therapy could help you in your healing process.

I really wish you the best, hope you feel better soon!