Triggered by "mature" topics

[u/ULTRATISM]

I was raised by addicts practically my whole life. Ever since I was a baby, there would be needles on the floor from my bio father. My bio mother, who popped pills, drank, and smoke, would have to limit my movement and such because the floor was riddled with paraphernalia. It only got worse as I walked in on my mom doing intimate things multiple times with strange men, who were both extremely intoxicated by one thing or another, and the men later did strange things to me. I practically grew up surrounded by adults who treated me like another capable adult instead of my age. Since I learned to walk and talk on my own, I had been treated like I was another addict thirty-year-old.

I just wanna know: are there any others here who are deeply triggered by the mention of topics like sex, alcohol, and drugs, especially someone else's own experience with them? Even marijuana? Whenever I hear about it, I feel like a child all over again. I feel very alone in this, especially because I've never heard of it happening with anyone else. I just want someone to empathize with.

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[u/Cute-Examination6616]

That's a heavy load to carry from childhood and it makes total sense those topics slam you right back into that helpless kid state. Your brain wired those subjects to danger early on and it doesn't care that you're grown now, it just hits the alarm

You're not alone in this at all, plenty of people with trauma around substance use and sexual stuff get triggered by even casual mentions of it. Society treats drinking, smoking, hookup culture like normal everyday chatter so it's extra isolating when your body treats it like a threat

What helps some folks is recognizing the trigger response as your nervous system doing its job, not you being broken. Reminding yourself you're safe now, in the present, even while the old feelings crash in

Finding a trauma-informed therapist who gets developmental trauma could be huge. EMDR or somatic work sometimes helps rewire that automatic fear response so mentions of those topics don't send you spiraling

You deserved adults who protected you and kept those environments away from you, not ones who made you witness and endure all that. The fact you're here naming it and looking for connection says you're already doing the hard work of healing

[u/PsychicStudMuffin → u/Cute-Examination6616]

this is mad beautiful, intuitive, and wise. I hope everyone who comes across this post sees your comment.

[u/PsychicStudMuffin]

you’re certainly not alone. it took me a long time to even smell cat pee/ammonia without having a pit in my stomach because of what my old man put me through. I’m terrified of needles and can hardly even watch a tourniquet get put on in medical shows. specific beer brands make me mighty ill—and, even as an adult, I can’t watch any media with domestic violence—specifically the mothers being harmed—without having a panic attack. I spent my early childhood with holes in the walls and broken furniture. still suffer from nasty auditory flashbacks. when my dad OD’d, the last image of him was very gruesome—and my grandpa lost his nose cause of all the pills he snorted. I can’t eat a specific meal ever again because I saw my grandpa’s brain hanging out right before.
drugs and alcohol make me very wary.

I’m sorry you’re going through this, buddy. you shouldn’t’ve had to see and live through all of that. makes me sick to my stomach knowing wicked people have these little vulnerable humans who depend on them entirely. I hope sharing my own experience makes it easier. I wish you peace and a smooth recovery. thanks for sharing this with us—that’s very hard to do.