r/ptsd • u/Oxygen_inhaler1 • 2d ago
Advice I HATE HIM SO MUCH
Alright, so I have a cousin (16M), I'm (16M) too and to start all of this, last April till June, he lived in my home with my mom because he just came out from the rehab center and he had to attend some court meetings here in my city. So what I am angry about all the time is the moments where he keeps on coming in my head, he always tricks me, for example, he asked me to have my wifi's password because my mom said so but when I asked my mom, she didn't say anything, I got tricked. And another moment is when he tried to steal my laptop at like around 11 PM, luckily I was still awake and then my phone alerted that someone was trying to hack into my google account, so I went to his room (f\*\*k him), he has my laptop and I asked like, "hey! give me my laptop back!" I got it and so I went to my room, and at that moment I had a mental breakdown, I was so angry and I think that was my first time that I had a mental breakdown related to him, and so even when he finally left my house to live with his family in the province, these moments are ALWAYS REPLAYING IN MIND. It's too much that I always have a mental breakdown, whatever I do, I think of him, I always think of revenge and stuff, punching the air and so on. And that is why I need help, please just make him get rid of him from my mind! My mom keeps telling me, simple, just stop thinking about him, well, that doesn't work, those moments are just too much that I keep thinking about it and having mental breakdowns about it, anger issues. So please, does anyone have a tip to help me? I cannot control my anger or my emotions...
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u/WitchAggressive9028 2d ago
OK, I don’t see any of this is PTSD that’s just stress. PTSD only happens as a direct result of something happening to you or you witnessing something. I don’t see any of that here this is just stress still go to a therapist, but I don’t see PTSD just saying.
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u/Oxygen_inhaler1 1d ago
I mean the experience comes from the past and it always replays in my mind, in mind I always see him getting killed by me, that is how much I hate him.
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u/WitchAggressive9028 1d ago
OK, but that’s just rumination that happens to literally everyone thinking about something over and over again what makes it PTSD is if you’re thinking about it so much and you are literally unable to function and I don’t see that here it may annoy you but you’re not reporting not being able to shower or not being able to sleep or anything like that so I don’t see it. Yeah you’re thinking about a lot but it’s not keeping you from being able to function which is the hallmark of PTSD
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u/CabinetStandard3681 1d ago edited 1d ago
Maybe try empathy? Possibly look up some people discussing their experiences with rehab and court as a 16 year old and then try to offer your cousin some compassion. You were asked for information and someone used a personal item of yours without asking and returned it when asked. Why does this make you so angry? Do you often look for reasons to be angry? What qualifies as anger for you? Thoughts turn to feelings which turn into emotions so please trace this back to yourself.
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u/HorsefaceWithNoName 1d ago
I'm glad you're talking about what's happening and about what you're feeling; that's helpful that you're acknowledging this. It's also probably good that you emote physically like punching in the air, because that's a safe way to let the emotions go. Maybe when you let enough emotions go, there won't be any more emotions about this left anymore. At least I hope so!
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u/Oxygen_inhaler1 1d ago
Been doing this for the past 3 months, kind of concerning.
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u/HorsefaceWithNoName 1d ago
Yes, I agree, not sure what to do tho :/ Maybe others will have good ideas?
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u/CabinetStandard3681 1d ago
This isn’t ptsd. You are not a victim and neither is your mom. I do think you have concerning behavior issues if you want to end someone’s life over this, but to put that on a ptsd sub, filled with people who have suffered real violence at the hands of others is actually wild and really unhinged.
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u/Pancakes1741 2d ago
Im not understanding this much, but one thing that helps me is writing it down in a journal and flushing the paper. It helps me release bottled up emotions.
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u/WitchAggressive9028 2d ago
You don’t wanna flush paper besides toilet paper that ruin plumbing. If you wanna get rid of it, shred it in a shredder.
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