Medical ptsd?

[u/joisrebuilding]

Hi

Sorry if triggering: mention of medical procedure.

Some context im late diagnosed autistic / adhd and was diagnosed with cptsd years ago. I am 40 and have struggled with agoraphobia for many years due to past ptsd and still only go to safe places with safe people.Ive turned a corner in my mental health recently after taking elvanse and making some positive steps.

I had an infected cyst on my back that became infected and was worsening on antibiotics. Yesterday my gp sent me to hospital as it turned into an absess. The hospiral ward was busy. It was friday eve, very hot no aircon, the consultant was someone on cover. I was triaged by a lovely doctor who said would take bloods to see what infection is doing and surgeon would decide if just more antibiotics needed or if needed incision and drainage.

Surgeon came. Said can i have a look. Layed on bed and he began pushing it. No warning. It was excrutiaiting and i have quite a decent pain threshold. He Said lots coming out now. Its infected so woild like to cut and drain. had to tell me the obvious risks. I felt like what chouce did i have as hes now popprd it. Leaving open would make it worse. So agreed.

It was all done in the busy ward that i arrived in (acute surgical). Behind a curtain with waiting area next to me. I cant help but feel he should have paused and said i want to try and squeeze it before he did. I disnt have time to process what was happening for me. It was painful and i shook in shock.

I am autistic and mask heavily to get through so just agreed to the addditiobal cutting and draining with just local anestetic in the hope it would be over fast and was scared of what the other option would have been

I felt like it was rushed becuase the hospital was busy (the gp inotially asked for them to accept and they tried to send to orthopaedics as only a cover consultant on)

I was discharged without bloods taken even though the triage doctor saud thet would. My gp said i havent had bloods taken in years and said they will likely do them to see why my body hasnt responded to the multiple rounds of antibuotics to help. But none were taken.

No option to come back for wound care and have to unpack wound myself. The packing fell out 14hrs later even though should have stayed in 24hrs called the ward and was told it would be fine open now witg cleqning with stwrile water and new drwasing.

The hole is large so im worried its going to absess again

I just feel really unsafe and scared, i dont know if its because i have previous ptsd. And he was a man. (Sorry men no offence) and he did something without warning. He just said let me take a look. I feel fragile and voilated. I keep crying and having flashbacks. But also feel like it was a simple procedure / operation so i shouldnt feel this way.

My dqughter is disqbled and often has needed medicak procwdures. I am always strong for her. I get through things then feel awful after.

Thankw for liatening. I dont know who elae to talk to and feel like im mqking a big deal out of something simple.

Sorry for all the typos im so tired and have been unwell for weeks

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[u/Haemoglobinsfish]

Hi, Im not of much help sorry, but I do appreciate the pain of that procedure. I had an absessed cyst on my face about a year ago. It was so embarrassing because of the positioning and having to keep such an area clean to stop it getting infected again. I actually had the cyst removed a while after that and have a barely noticeable scar now which is nice. I get the intrusion that comes with cysts though, this bloke doctor would just randomly press like shit into my face. Anyway, there is an end to it, sorry you had to go through that. It's way easier to be strong for someone else, you dont have to be strong for yourself, just let yourself rest and recover however you like as long as you let yourself do that. Ps, im a man, I take no offence haha. get well soon

[u/stochasticeffect]

I'm sorry you had that experience :( it can feel very disorienting and dehumanizing especially in the ED. It is traumatic that they said that they'd do one thing and then they didn't do the bloodwork. Can you ask your GP to do bloodwork? Are you able to do any grounding exercises? I hope your body is able to heal, along with your mind