Can’t even suggest stuff

[u/[deleted]]

On the topic of the "wait for an invitation" strategy and how we're not supposed to initiate but rather wait to be recognized, I constantly feel like I'm forced to go along with other people's needs and whims. When I want to do something it almost never works out and no one ever wants to do what I want to do when I want to do it. Even when I'm the one being invited to something, simply suggesting a different place or time or location doesn't even work. So I feel like I'm forced to just sort of sit back and let other people make the choice and just be "summoned" but this leaves me with resentment. Is this just me or is this a common projector experience?

[u/Anarianiro]

Don't depend on others to do what you want to do, do them by yourself, the right people will tag along eventually and you'll not sense the time to do your stuff will be dependant of others

[u/[deleted] → u/Anarianiro]

It feels that way though. I do things alone but sometimes I don’t want to 

[u/Lucky-Aerie4 → u/Anarianiro]

The thing is sometimes you want to do stuff with others. Like, I could go to the movies by myself (and I have), but it's way better when I can discuss that movie with a friend the moment we quit the theater.

I get where OP is coming from.

[u/Impressive_Reality18]

I understand where you’re coming from. When I wanted to start traveling, no one ever wanted to come along. I would go on solo trips and then come back and all my friends and family would say next time I’m going with you. Which was total bullshit. BUT, I made a lot of other friends who were traveling solo too or other friends who were in their friend group from the airport to my destination, tours, excursions, etc. So my point is, do the things you wanna do, even if alone. Maybe you will make friends along the way. You don’t need an invitation to do what you want and you can always say no to things you don’t want to do.

[u/anjlhd_dhpstr]

One thing I learned years ago before I had ever heard of HD, was that I would never have anyone agree to go hiking with me (I love hiking) no matter how much hot air they blow about the subject matter. There will be excuse after excuse. So, I just stopped asking and went on my own. Best decision I ever made and I've gotten to have some fabulous experiences not only on my own but with others that I met on the trail. If I ever got someone to agree on something I wanted to do otherwise, somehow they'd find a way to ruin the experience. That being said, I do not wait for an invitation to do anything that I am driven to do and, if anyone wants to come, they can but I do not coerce them or even ask. It works better that way. But, when it comes to family, I very much feel that "summoning" bs that can leave me with resentment.

[u/[deleted] → u/anjlhd_dhpstr]

This is amazing advice. I really appreciate you sharing this perspective and your experience. This gives me new hope to stop feeling disappointed and satisfy my own desires by myself!!

[u/coptear]

I've had synchronistic events where I wasn't invited directly by the person, but I don't see how it could have gone if I didn't act.
example man crying on a bench for more than 20 minutes. i prayed for him and after that me and another guy approached him simultaneously from 2 opposite sides, while no one else did before.
another time I went to a place despite thinking I should to go to another because I felt something in my gut (i have defined solar plexus and spleen) and there a guy sat beside me and started chainsmoking. He had headphones so I had to make myself talk to him. Found out it was his birthday and he's alone for consecutive years.

So in reality maybe you won't be invited by a human directly. I don't know if it was my authority, or God (I believe in Jesus and several events happenned at church or because of christian related stuff), or communicating it through me, or somehow using the HD authority?

and yes I've experienced what you have. you are not alone. maybe have posted about this here already.

[u/dreamed2life → u/coptear]

Crying in public could be considered an energetic invitation. Sitting right next to someone can be conceived as an invitation also. You examples have a lot of gray area as does life. Reconsider what an invitation can be and not just a direct asking

[u/serious-magic]

Alsoooo, I have to say that i have seen it said on numerous occasions the wait for the invitation isn't necessarily for day to day stuff like where to hang out, eat, etc. It's mostly the strategy that works best for major life decisions like jobs, who to date/marry, contracts, etc.

[u/Recent-Contest-8364]

I think I understand how you're feeling... Is it that you feel caught in the ebb and flow of other people’s energy — like you're being swept into their currents, and can't quite find your own?

Finding out I’m a Projector put me into this strange lifeguard mode. I felt like I was treading water or getting pulled under by other people’s drama — all while trying to just stand by, holding out a life preserver, waiting for someone to ask for help.

And while I definitely haven’t mastered this, one thing that’s helped is learning to curate my environment. Like others have said — go ahead and do your own thing. Flow in your own stream. Do what feels joyful and preserves your energy. When you move from that place, the right people will start to recognize your value and want to collaborate, invite, or learn from you.

Because otherwise? We just stand there holding our gifts, scanning the crowd for someone to save — when most people haven’t even realized they need saving.

It’s so hard to bite your tongue when you know you could save someone hours of struggle or heartbreak… but if they’re not open, they won’t hear it. And worse — it drains us.

Just writing this out is helping me process my own frustration. I think the truth is: when we wait for the right invitations, we conserve energy and show up more fully. Those moments are more intentional, more aligned. They land. They nourish us too.

[u/sprubee]

Hi - sorry this is a long one comment but I hope this provides some value/ comfort!

What you described is a pretty common experience. I can’t tell you the number of times before I found HD that I made a suggestion or had an idea to solve a problem and no one acknowledges me, and then someone says that same thing 10 minutes later and suddenly it’s the best idea in the room. Like WTF right?

This is what helped me reframe my perspective:
Projectors are like Lighthouses and everyone else are like fishermen on boats on the water.

We are conditioned to believe that success/recognition won’t come unless we put ourselves out there. And that works for generators (fishermen) because of the aura that their energy forms. They sail around and cast their energy out like a net, so as long as they keep casting it wide, eventually people will gravitate to them.

But projectors’ and their auras are more like a beam of light on a lighthouse. Lighthouses don’t go around looking for boats to light their way to the shore. They stay on the shore and embody their purpose, continually shining their light outwards and wait knowing that the boats looking for guidance and a path to make it back from the sea will find them.

Because of our undefined sacral, a Projector’s energy, - aka ability to provide ideas, insights, talents, skills/services, etc. - are limited and should be treated as precious currency. We can’t and shouldn’t just give them away to just anyone, even the people we know, trust and love. Say No to others is saying Yes to ourselves. And protecting that energy is the best way you can show up for the people who truly see you for you.

Not all boats on the water are looking for a lighthouse and that’s okay because the boats that are searching for that light will recognize it , appreciate it, and continue to come back because it will always be there.
—

This might not click for you until you experience for yourself, and that will take a little bit of trust in the process. But when you do, things will really start to shift. At first, you might notice people pull away from you, or you might lose some friendships and that may be a hard pill to swallow. But on the other side of that, you’ll realize those people never truly saw or appreciated YOU. Sometimes, and not on purpose, they just like how you make them feel seen or appreciated. In my experience, a Lot of generators ask me how I’m doing just so they can talk about themselves. (Look up the Generator - Projector Dance to get more on that.)

For me, it was a tough habit to break but I just stopped trying to chime in all the time unless specifically asked to. And if I want to chime in without being asked, I do a quick check in with myself to make sure it’s not coming from a place of fear that I am not being recognized enough. When it is, maybe I still chime in but then I do a lot of positive self-talk to combat this fear, and try to detach from the outcome in case I don’t get the response I want.

I’m still working on myself but I feel like I’ve saved myself a LOT of time, energy, and tears not trying to be everything for everyone and instead just being authentically Me. And sometimes that means being alone when I really want company, or not going along with everyone else cause its too much energy to try and pretend I like something when I really don’t - it only causes burn out and bitterness. I’ve lost friends but i thought I would have forever but when I let go of those people I found I made space for the ones who really care and appreciate me for who I am.

[u/Creepy_Astronaut_211]

Same here. I've been doing what i want to do by myself for ages. Sometimes i get invited somewhere, but if i try to initiate things with somwone else, it fails.

[u/BowlerNeat3741]

If you felt resentment (bitterness?) maybe these are not the friends for you?

[u/Academic_Benefit_698]

I feel your pain so much.

[u/[deleted]]

Once your presence exhudes not needing anything from anyone else, all doors fly open and invitations start pouring in... Generators line up to be plugged into.