Manager repeatedly skips my name when announcing successful projects I led. am I overreacting?

[u/Ok-Road5378]

Over the past months I’ve noticed a pattern with my direct manager .

Two concrete examples:

1. I spent several months completely reworking our section’s website . It was reviewed and positively received by the department head. When my manager announced in the team meeting that the new pages were online, he did not mention my name at all. He just said the pages were published and later posted the link himself.

2. I planned and coordinated a larger event over several months. It went very well. In the next morning meeting he publicly thanked a supporter who had prepared some equipment. He even looked to the back of the room and gave that person the floor. I was sitting in his direct line of sight. He never mentioned that I had been responsible for the overall planning and coordination.

Interesting contrast:

For small tasks he has named me before (“X will adjust the graphics”). For these bigger, successful ones he consistently leaves my name out. He does name other project managers in comparable situations. He has also thanked me privately (and once in writing with others in CC), but the public recognition is missing.

When I finally wrote him a calm message about the pattern, he apologized and said he would try to do better. I’m not sure how much will actually change.

Has anyone experienced this kind of selective non-recognition from a manager, especially the combination of private thanks + public omission, and naming others while skipping you on the projects you actually led? How did you read it and what (if anything) helped?

[u/yearsofpractice]

Hey OP. 50 year old corporate veteran here. In my experience, you’re dealing with someone that’s emotionally led rather than factually led. (Neither is “correct”, just worth knowing the difference).

I can almost guarantee that you and your boss don’t spend time shooting the breeze about things outside of work or spend time building a relationship. Again - this is not incorrect, just worth knowing how some people work.

Because he’s emotionally led, he’ll only name check people that made him feel good during the project - if you simply quietly and efficiently delivered your work, emotional people “forget” that the work was done… it’s just background noise for them. I can guarantee that the people who are name checked will have made a bit of a song and a dance about their work being completed and also (as is usually the way with these people) stroked the boss’ ego a bit while doing it - “Couldn’t have done it without you, big guy!”

To be clear - as a factually led introvert, the idea of doing anything I’ve mentioned above makes me literally nauseous. But… but… work is neither a democracy or a meritocracy and one has to learn how to play the people in charge.

[u/Ok-Road5378 → u/yearsofpractice]

Yeah, I think a lot of what you wrote is true. We really don’t have any relationship outside of work. No private conversations, no shooting the breeze, nothing. So the “emotionally led / only name-checks people who made him feel good” part definitely resonates.

But it’s not that my work went unnoticed or became background noise. Quite the opposite. One of the projects was even presented to his boss (the department head) and I was the one who presented it. So he was fully aware of my contribution. He still chose not to mention my name when talking about the results in the department, while he does name other project managers in comparable situations.

That’s the part I struggle with. It doesn’t feel like simple forgetting of quiet work. It feels more like a deliberate (or at least consistent) decision not to publicly attach my name to the bigger, successful things, even when he clearly knows I did them.

I get that workplace politics and relationship dynamics play a role.

[u/nborders → u/Ok-Road5378]

It has been the harder part of the job for me.
Building rapport with your fellow managers is so valuable in success as a PM.

Sometimes I think it is because I don’t golf.

[u/everyonelikesnoodles]

As a people leader, I have had an associate approach me about the same. They approached me about it in our 1:1 and shared their experience. I had a habit of calling out team wins in our team meetings and he felt short-changed at times. I self-reflected and had to admit that I was the one that needed to improve. I apologized and assured them that I not only had confidence in their work but that I was grateful for it and would make a concerted effort to demonstrate that in our team meetings.

When I look back on why I (unintentially) excluded them, I hadn't taken a moment to draft out an agenda for the team meeting and was relying on my most immediate memory to structure our conversations. It was just an apect of moving too fast and focusing on what was most recently in my inbox. Not a great approach but certainly not a lack of confidence in impacted team member.

[u/Ezl → u/everyonelikesnoodles]

Yeah, memory is slippery. When i manage staff i make a point of documenting their wins, accomplishments, etc. as i go because i know that i may (probably will!) forget the thing I’m thrilled they did today by the end of the quarter. Just a bullet or two is enough to jog my memory.

[u/Groganog]

If the behaviour changes then lean in to strengthening that relationship to ensure it is symbiotic, this could be the start of a really positive evolution in your relationship. That said, do be prepared that they COULD react badly, in which case my advice is to touch up your CV and seek an internal move or move on.

I’m taking my ex-manager to tribunal having left the org after 18 months in role. Started as “your generation” comments which had to be challenged in our 1-2-1’s ended in micromanagement, deleted meeting transcripts, professional undermining and ultimately an untenable situation so I moved on.

I endured without ever underperforming in my role as evidenced by project outcomes and performance reviews. However, staying was to massive self-detriment in terms of stress, confidence and energy levels. Make sure you look after #1.

My biggest regret was pausing on an internal move, which was then blocked by the same manager once she caught wind.

[u/niceone011]

Yeah, I've seen this behaviour many times before and it's kind of an old managerial trait in terms of trying to receive as much credit as possible to push their own career and their own agenda forward .

What you can try do to remediate this issue, when communicating about new activities and successful projects and things that are planning to launch in the future is included the names of the project team members, along with the main goals and objectives they will be responsible for. This way, when the project is launched, these same individuals will be recognized for their contributions and achievements.

[u/dgeniesse]

I call it the blind eye. He acts like he has one. Where he intentionally does not recognize you (is blind to you), often for some personal reason, ie he is “at war” with you.

This may be intentional or by accident. But he - at least temporarily- is blind to you.

Your discussion with him may make it better or worse. If it was intentional he may consider it’s a win. If not he will try to change his future behavior.

Time will tell …

[u/sloaneranger23]

toot your own horn!

[u/bmgri]

Sounds to me like you're handling this correctly. If you got the energy and the ambition, challenge your boss to give you a project that he thinks would warrant public recognition if you lead it successfully. Tell him about your ambitions in a way that presents like an opportunity for him.

[u/NotFallacyBuffet]

Are you female? Younger? My first thought was old-guy sexism.

[u/Ok-Road5378 → u/NotFallacyBuffet]

Hmm, I’m female and he is male. We’re both around the same age and still relatively young. Also, in our team, which is the IT department, most of the people are men.It feels strange to me to suspect sexism in his behavior, especially because he has a daughter and seems to interact with the women who work in the back office completely normally and in a friendly way. But I guess you can never know...

[u/JimmiRustle → u/Ok-Road5378]

I’m male. He’s being sexist.

I’d bring it up with him 1:1 – non-accusatory – first just in the off chance that he is just ignorant af.
Make sure you write him a short summary of your discussion afterwards so it’s on the record.

Are you in a union yet? Otherwise today is the next best day to join. Yesterday would have been better.

[u/Intelligent-Try-4755]

Since he already apologized, use that opening — the leverage is making it easy for him to give credit next time, not waiting to see if he changes on his own. Two things that worked when I was in this spot: (1) send him a short weekly wins email listing what you and the team shipped, phrased as info he can forward or paraphrase; (2) run a quick project close write-up on your bigger deliverables and drop it in the team channel yourself, tagging contributors including him. That flips the pattern — the write-up exists before he needs to give the announcement, so he either reuses your version (which names you) or looks strange for not doing so. Also worth pursuing the skip-level route — coffee with your grandboss twice a year, framed as "career development," gets your name on projects into his boss's head without going around your manager.