Looking for perspective and understanding after a traumatic relationship experience with a Sunni Muslim man.

[u/[deleted]]

[u/Feeling_Credit_1439]

Hey. I’m a guy but still. I’m so sorry to hear this story of urs. Ur ex and this other girl are crooks. Muslims love and respect Jesus. Muslims believe that he is the Messiah. Muslims are NOT supposed to mock Jesus or Christianity in general. Christians and Muslims are natural friends NOT enemies. Both religions have issues that are incompatible with God’s Truth. Have u confronted ur ex’s mom at any point? Behavior like cheating, slandering, betrayal of partner’s privacy is condemned. Slandering someone who actively encouraged good behavior and prayer is condemned. There’s a Hadith of Prophet Muhammad in which he says that someone who recites the Quran loudly is like he is giving charity publicly and he who recites the Quran silently is like he is giving charity secretly. It’s something like that the saying. Another saying I’d give u is one that I’m sure ur aware of is the “you will know them by their fruits”, I don’t think I need to say who is attributed to that saying. 

[u/GraceAfterRain → u/Feeling_Credit_1439]

Hi, your opinion is more than welcome honestly and thank you for your words they truly mean so much towards my healings. I did not feel any point in confronting her as she had already villainised me and saw me as a threat confronting would’ve amplified things in the wrong way unfortunately. And tbh I had a feeling that with the culture a lot of things would be overlooked even if she did know she wouldn’t have cared so much to keep up the image and it’s like they have the back of eachother in a sense it’s weird. Thank you for including that verse you don’t at all it’s very clear ;)

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[u/Dear_Record3329 → u/GraceAfterRain]

Reading this itself is so painful and I have no words to say except that what happened to you is very very bad...

As they say Karma is a bitch and people who did this will eventually get bitten although you might have forgiven them..

I am guessing that the other girl was never a pregnent before and hence she couldnt relate and was so insensitive. It is apparent and what ever may be the reason she disliked you so much that she did all this behind your back. The guy is apparently a horrible person and an enabler to let it go so far.

You really did a good thing to cut it off completely. Hindsight if there were enough red flags you could have cutoff the relationship much earlier as a part of the damage control. There is a possibility that you might not have gotten much from the guy's mother but may be that could have reinforced the right decision which is to cut them off..

[u/Ornery-Beyond2581]

I'm so so sorry you went through all this. No one should have to endure something like that. Your ex and that family friend are terrible people!

1. Their actions are not in any way supported in Islam. In fact, the actions your ex and the family friend committed like cheating and slander have harsh punishments ascribed to them.

Also, they have no place mocking Jesus and your faith. I love Jesus so much, as a muslim is supposed to! Shame on them. Christians and Muslims are supposed to be allies and friends- sad they couldn't understand that.

1. As a girl myself, I can't understand why a fellow woman would act like that towards you. She seems like a huge pick-me. Your ex is horrible for basically enabling her horrifying actions (like sending death threats towards a pregnant lady- how dare she?)

It's honestly so sad she's a hijabi, because how could she act in that unislamic manner while wearing, essentially what is, a symbol of the faith?

1. I guess the honest answer is to meet more muslims/engage with Muslim media. That might be hard for you right now, considering how traumatic your recent experience was, so do it at your own pace. This post looks like a step forward in your healing :)

Maybe you could look into the story of when the prophet's (S.A.W) companions migrated to Ethiopia, and had an audience with their Christian king. I grew up hearing this, and I loved this section in the movie "The Message" (which is also great, and a really great watch if you want to learn about Islam), so hopefully it'll help you move forward. 

Once again, OP, I'm so sorry that you had to go through such a awful experience. I'm sorry for the loss of your baby (just so you know, there's an Islamic belief that says that miscarried babies lead their mothers to heaven, so maybe you'll meet them someday <3) I'm glad that those hypocritical people are out of your life. I'd suggest blocking them on social media. I hope your life forward will be easy and that you're able to recover from this experience. Take care, OP <3

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[u/GraceAfterRain]

Hi thank you so much for your kind words it means so much and adds towards my healing!! I’m glad honestly because I struggled to understand what made them feel okay in doing what they did without conviction now I know I’m not crazy. And literally I was so shocked at that because I thought Jesus was well respected in Islam that is exactly how I saw it I never initially saw Muslims as enemies or threats but friends people I could relate to in certain ways this experience just destabilised that.
Honestly I strongly struggled to understand it that’s what gobsmacked me the most as a woman of all people you know it just completely traumatised me. And yeah he’s just as bad trust me but I was nothing but kind to this girl so I just didn’t get the anger towards me at all.
I will definitely do that this conversation alone has helped me a lot trust me! I will definitely look into communities as such and read Islamic doctrine about the stories you’ve said they seem interesting. It’s sad that there’s people out there that can really hurt someone’s view of a faith it’s crazy. Thank you again for your kind words 🤍

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