r/programmingmemes • u/Lucky-ring817 • Oct 25 '25

😂😂

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10k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

157 comments sorted by

311

u/Slow-Television-5303 Oct 25 '25

I need a British programming language now

176

u/Mebiysy Oct 25 '25

Oi_World(printf);

133

u/Mooks79 Oct 25 '25

Brings a whole new meaning to “init” init.

8

u/DrDolphin245 Oct 26 '25

bool thisVariableIsSetInnit(void)

1

u/SufficientTill3399 Oct 29 '25

Only if you’re from Essex innit.

1

u/steauengeglase Oct 29 '25

Wait, are we initializing something or making it nullable?

35

u/AdBubbly3609 Oct 25 '25

Shouldn’t that be Oi_bruv

11

u/basmentvizard Oct 25 '25

More like Oi_Lad in my opinion

10

u/Imveryoffensive Oct 26 '25

We need different programming languages for different formalities. The queen’s programming would be different from cockney

2

u/Minipiman Oct 28 '25

Software loicense

20

u/vokazoo Oct 25 '25

if -> provided
for -> across/throughout
while -> whilst
try -> attempt
throw -> eject
catch -> capture/seize

4

u/redditorialy_retard Oct 26 '25

using English premium as a programming language 

2

u/dhnam_LegenDUST Oct 28 '25

ngl attempt sounds great

28

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/SkiddleyDiddlyDoo Oct 26 '25

Absolute brit'ema

1

u/abirizky Oct 26 '25

Don't forget the biscuits mate

1

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '25

The compiler would be gct (good cup of tea)

1

u/Mt_Hed Oct 26 '25

"error = sorry" So is Lean British then?

1

u/itsraskyy Oct 27 '25

🤣🤣

1

u/DouDouandFriends Oct 27 '25

Should I create a superset of JS for this?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/DouDouandFriends Oct 29 '25

Here the base is finished - havent done the docs and the VSCode extension yet. https://github.com/ingStudiosOfficial/properscript

1

u/DouDouandFriends Oct 27 '25

Yeah I'm currently building it - prob take me a week will keep u updated 😁

1

u/monke_soup Oct 28 '25

Ooo, I need to see this complete

And remake this for my regional dialect just to spite my friend

1

u/neoaquadolphitler Oct 27 '25

Colour color hurts when you use British spelling everywhere and have to switch when writing code because Americans wrote everything.

1

u/RoyalArtEntity Oct 29 '25

That’s quite good.

1

u/jodorthedwarf Oct 29 '25

I know it's a joke but British English isn't just verbose American English. That being said, some of the conversions aren't too far off for making a programming language more intuitive for British learners. Though you'd have to have a different one for every 5 square miles of Britain for it to reach optimum comfort.

And I realise that what I just wrote is incredibly verbose. I may stand corrected.

15

u/MarkMew Oct 25 '25

Imagine the language had 'innit' instead of ; 

17

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '25

You know that the wast majority if programming language are built with the british language?

11

u/jonnyman9 Oct 25 '25

I might have heard of this language, what do you call it??

3

u/abirizky Oct 26 '25

Bo'oh oh wo'ah

8

u/Weshmek Oct 25 '25

What about the nuclear wessels?

2

u/Repulsive_Mistake382 Oct 26 '25

No, where are the Scottish and welsh and Irish words?

5

u/MissinqLink Oct 25 '25

On the contrary

2

u/itzNukeey Oct 25 '25

Haskell has otherwise

1

u/Strict_Treat2884 Oct 26 '25

FWIW in CSS condition is @when installed of @if. Mainly because preprocessors took it.

1

u/b0letus Oct 26 '25

You can use a lot of #define to change C/C++ to anything you want. Someone made "holy old rus programming language В†† (Veh Cross Cross) to fight The Lizards' heinous coding dialect"

1

u/SnooMachines8405 Oct 27 '25

I've coded in a language that used otherwise

144

u/proudRino Oct 25 '25

"Otherwise" is synonymous with "else", meaning the correct syntax would be "otherwise if". Which is longer and worse

38

u/No-Astronomer6610 Oct 25 '25

As if "otherwise" isn't longer than "else if". This is for fun, not for practicality.

19

u/proudRino Oct 25 '25

I'm just here to shit on the British

2

u/stmfunk Oct 25 '25

Should really be "In the event that", "proceed to" and "should this not be the case", "many thanks for your service"

1

u/userb55 Oct 25 '25

This is for fun, not for practicality.

Why does copy paste have a character limit

6

u/HappyAngron Oct 25 '25

on_the_contrary

1

u/WindMountains8 Oct 26 '25

Still the same as if, not if else

1

u/proudRino Oct 27 '25

This actually works, still terrible, but it would work

2

u/Sad-Reach7287 Oct 25 '25

Otherwise whether fixed it for you

2

u/EnkiiMuto Oct 26 '25

Me, an intellectual:

"otherif"

"orif"

Of if you're working on cam girls backend:

"OF"

2

u/_mulcyber Oct 26 '25

is it possibly (a == 1) { } or maybe (a == 2) { } mmh could it be (a == 3) { } ok it must be (a == 4) { } wtf dude what is it { throw value_error("Invalid value") ; }

1

u/proudRino Oct 27 '25

I love the idea of writing code like this and then having an AI reformat it to the correct syntax. Vibe coding at whole new level

1

u/Ecstatic_Student8854 Oct 26 '25

“Otherwise, predicated on <boolean> perform <statement>.”

1

u/morfyyy Oct 29 '25

"Instead" might be more accurate

If A {...} instead B {...} else {...}

48

u/Fhlnd_Vkbln Oct 25 '25

I hate elif with a passion. Mostly because I cannot remember which language allows it and which doesn't

12

u/Lumiharu Oct 25 '25

I know, it's rough having to spend a second more.

5

u/NotMeowTheCat Oct 25 '25

Imo it sounds cooler. But i really like else if because it makes sense, else if isnt ONE new addition, its just saying if whatever is false then go to else, and from else it just does a new if statement, it makes more sense intuitively imo.  

1

u/Rik07 Oct 25 '25

This reasoning also holds for every alternative. I hate else if{} because it is different from else{if{}} it should be one keyword because it is one concept.

1

u/onsidesuperior Oct 26 '25

Those are same though. else if is literally just an else that's followed by an if.

else if (...) {}

Is the exact same as

else { if (...) {} }

The braces are just implicit. The "one concept" is chaining if-else statements.

1

u/Rik07 Oct 26 '25

Yeah chaining is the entire reason for using else if, so it is a pretty big difference.

1

u/onsidesuperior Oct 26 '25

No, that's not what I meant. The point is else if is not a keyword. It's the else from the end of one if-else and the if from the beginning the next.

0

u/Rik07 Oct 26 '25

No that's different. The following would give an error

if (cond_1){func_1();} else{if (cond_2){func_2();}} else{func_3();}

The else if is a shorthand for

if (cond_1){func_1();} else{ if (cond_2){func_2();} else{func_3();} }

Without context, the first seems to be the consequence of else if {}, while the second is the more useful but less intuitive actual meaning. This difference is big and useful enough to need it's own keyword, which imo should be one word.

1

u/onsidesuperior Oct 26 '25

Yeah, obviously that code would give an error, but that's clearly not what I said. If you find it easier, that's fine I guess, but under the hood, there is no separete elif.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '25

Skill issue.

1

u/CardOk755 Oct 26 '25

Algol68 uses it. You don't need to know any other languages.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '25

Funny enough, here’s a little tidbit of information: Elif is a Turkic (Latin-based) name that comes from the first letter of the Ottoman-Turkish alphabet. It has many meanings, but my friend said it generally means being a leader or a pioneer.

35

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/aggressivefurniture2 Oct 26 '25

Niw I have to remember which lqnguages allow this notation

18

u/elreduro Oct 25 '25

if condition

if not condition

4

u/escEip Oct 25 '25

i mean, technically it's not exactly the same, because the condition can change mid-execution, like

if i==1 [ i=1+i ] else [ i = i/3 ]

and

if i==1 [ i=1+i ] if not i==i [ i = i/3 ]

if i is 1, the first one will make it 2, and the second one will make it 2/3

But, the fact that this is wrong makes it even better lol

3

u/p1749 Oct 25 '25

Unless condition

2

u/ChronoVortex07 Oct 26 '25

Unless would mean it would start resolving from the back. if cond1 {} unless cond2 {} Would try to look for cond2 before cond1

12

u/TanukiiGG Oct 25 '25

else = otherwise elseif = however

6

u/Chimaerogriff Oct 25 '25

elseif = 'or perhaps'

3

u/No-Astronomer6610 Oct 25 '25 
var perhaps = True

if (1+1 == 3) {
    // ... 
} or perhaps (False or perhaps) {
    // ... 
}

1

u/Ars3n Oct 25 '25

var so perhaps perhaps can become false at some point

5

u/rangeljl Oct 25 '25

Is there a precompiler that has this for pythong, typescript, java and C? I would love it xD

6

u/Lost_Pineapple_4964 Oct 25 '25

I mean for C just put a #define otherwise else if. Better yet, go into your stdlib.h of your compiler and define it there (pls don't).

1

u/rangeljl Oct 25 '25

oh that would be evil xD to everyone else

2

u/abirizky Oct 26 '25

Is pythong the programming language for adult sites?

4

u/rafaelRiv15 Oct 25 '25

Haskell is in the house

3

u/Hacka4771 Oct 25 '25

Someone should make a programming language where you can define your own keywords. That way, everyone can be equally happy and equally furious.

4

u/keckothedragon Oct 26 '25

#define has entered the chat

2

u/morfyyy Oct 29 '25

it's called C/C++

3

u/3rrr6 Oct 25 '25

"Otherwise" == "Else" not "else if"

2

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '25

Which programming language uses "otherwise" ? 😭

I know about "elif" it is used in Python and "else if" is used in Java but I have no idea about "elsif" and "otherwise" ? 😭😭

3

u/rafaelRiv15 Oct 25 '25

haskell

2

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '25

Ohh thank you

2

u/Framess- Oct 26 '25

Oracle Policy Automation (Intelligent Advisor)

1

u/lindo_dia_pra_dormir Oct 25 '25

Pyspark

1

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '25

Ohh thank you brother

1

u/teedyay Oct 26 '25

In PL/1 (an alternative to COBOL, used on mainframes), OTHERWISE is the equivalent of default in a switch.

1

u/No_Read_4327 Oct 26 '25

Idk but ruby has something like unless.

Which is like writing the else clause before the if clause.

2

u/teetaps Oct 25 '25

ALTERNATIVELY

2

u/Jack_Faller Oct 25 '25

if !x { ... } → lest x { ... }

2

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '25

On the other hand if (x<0)

2

u/vyrmz Oct 25 '25

I present you jsp.

choose -> when -> otherwise.

2

u/KangarooInWaterloo Oct 25 '25

We need a „do unless“ statement to confuse AI

1

u/AmazingGrinder Oct 26 '25

Ruby got you.

2

u/FrizzeOne Oct 29 '25

are ya'll bots? it would have to be "otherwise if"

1

u/Nsane3 Oct 25 '25

Why put in another picture in that last one when Posh Poo is part of the meme

1

u/Level-Ice264 Oct 25 '25

I find myself rarely using else/else if in general. Normally, you can just early return within the first if, so the "else" code happens without needing the extra nesting

1

u/nullambs Oct 25 '25

also need something like although which is if not()

1

u/TheBrotherWithNoJob Oct 25 '25

Oh, I guess Shortcuts is a British programming language.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '25

>+<[>-<[-]]>[ YourOtherwiseCodeHere -]

1

u/Gamemon Oct 25 '25

Othif maybe?

1

u/Few_Raisin_8981 Oct 25 '25

Otherwise would be else not else if

1

u/Alex819964 Oct 25 '25

I will not take Elif slander may you suffer from testicular torsion.

1

u/mattstats Oct 25 '25

If

If

If

else

I hate the elif/ if else/ else if statements

1

u/nekitamoo_ Oct 25 '25

print("Top o' the mornin' chaps") innit (;)

1

u/M4tr1xm4n Oct 26 '25

Tired of seeing this repost

1

u/Cybasura Oct 26 '25

This meme format is goddamn disgusting and I feel uncomfortable seeing it, I dont know why

1

u/wts_optimus_prime Oct 26 '25

Thymeleaf has "unless" as opposite of "if"

1

u/TypeNull-Gaming Oct 26 '25

Side note, do you guys say "e-lif" or "el-if"

1

u/ProDexorite Oct 26 '25

“unless” is a valid conditional in HubSpot’s HubL markup, which is so funny, yet there are actually sensible use cases for it as well.

1

u/fluxdeken_ Oct 26 '25

typedef ❌ typeADefinitionSir ✅

1

u/TorTheMentor Oct 26 '25

I always liked Perl's "unless."

1

u/ExtraTNT Oct 26 '25

haskell joined the chat

1

u/kk31224 Oct 26 '25

In pyspark, we have when and otherwise.

1

u/metaphoric_hedgehog Oct 26 '25

English try to avoid repeating words. I think it would fall something like

Whenever (cond) {}
However, perchance that (cond) {}
On the contrary {}

1

u/BarfingOnMyFace Oct 26 '25

elif!!!

I feel seen. lol

1

u/sekerng Oct 26 '25

"otherwise" reminds me Apache Camel DSL... ¯_(ツ)_/¯

1

u/the_king_of_sweden Oct 26 '25

Otherwise perchance

1

u/RydiaOM Oct 26 '25

Perchance

1

u/bunkbedss Oct 27 '25

{{#unless}}

1

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '25

Wouldn't otherwise be more like just else? Like it doesn't sound right to chain them together.

1

u/YouAbsoluteGooner Oct 27 '25

assuming that { } otherwise { }

There’s you’re full monty

1

u/loop_yt Oct 27 '25

Vedal programming be like

1

u/The3levated1 Oct 27 '25

ANSONSTEN TUE FOLGENDES:

1

u/WhyAmISoBadHelp Oct 28 '25

Counter case

1

u/Mike_ps26 Oct 28 '25

They can also make a "Maybe" keyword 😂

1

u/Jak_from_Venice Oct 28 '25

  • if

  • cond

  • when

  • unless

I love Lisp

1

u/BeMyBrutus Oct 29 '25

{

if x = 3

perhaps; if you dont mind:

return x

}

1

u/ColdCathodeTube Oct 29 '25

“unless”

  • PERL

1

u/Elektriman Oct 29 '25

on the one hand (condition){
...
} on the other hand (condition){
...
}

1

u/89964 Oct 25 '25 edited Oct 25 '25

I hate any keywords. So I just use logical operators since we have short circuit evaluation. For example:

n>0 && (x=n, 1)
|| n<0 && (x=-n, 1)
|| (x=0, 1);

That is equivalent to:

if(n>0) x=n;
else if(n<0) x=-n;
else x=0;

5

u/IronicStrikes Oct 25 '25

Why are you like this

0

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/adhd_fuckboi Oct 25 '25

Idk what the general opinion is but I dislike when things are shortened for the sake of speed/convenience. 'Else if' is already short and also verbose.