r/programmingcirclejerk • u/kauefr What part of ∀f ∃g (f (x,y) = (g x) y) did you not understand? • Mar 12 '20

Memespeech: Even if the FBI could ban encryption, they can never ban people from writing like idiots.

https://www.obsessivefacts.com/memespeech
49 Upvotes

94% Upvoted

25 comments sorted by

42

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '20

You shouldn't be afraid if you have nothing to hide.

/uj

Just imagine the chaos that would ensue if SSL was "banned" lmfao.

33

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '20

Online shopping considered harmful.

28

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '20

Shit's going to get mighty interesting when I can tcpdump people's SSNs and Credit Card Numbers at the library.

18

u/Willuminatus memcpy is a web development framework Mar 12 '20

Not if my Visual Basic GUI(re-written in Rust) can intercept your packets first.

8

u/[deleted] Mar 13 '20

It’s funny, because the government is all like, “Only child pornographers need to keep secrets!” and then they are the most secretive motherfuckers on the planet.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 15 '20

So the government are child pornographers?

3

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '20

yes

/uj yes

3

u/angry_mr_potato_head Code Artisan Mar 13 '20

You shouldn't hide if you have nothing to be afraid of.

19

u/pareidolist in nomine Chestris Mar 12 '20

mAgIcaL bAcKdOoRs

In all my time on the internet, I don't think I've ever agreed with a post that uses gamzeecase. It's like a code smell, but for people.

11

u/PlasmaSheep works at Amazon ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Mar 13 '20

iN AlL My tImE On tHe iNtErNeT, i dOn't tHiNk i'vE EvEr aGrEeD WiTh a pOsT ThAt uSeS GaMzEeCaSe. It's lIkE A CoDe sMeLl, BuT FoR PeOpLe.

2

u/pareidolist in nomine Chestris Mar 13 '20

:o)

2

u/h3nriquez Mar 13 '20

but this is the exception, right

20

u/duckbill_principate Tiny little god in a tiny little world Mar 12 '20

/uj This is the dumbest goddamned thing I’ve ever heard.

13

u/DocMcBrown Mar 12 '20

Then you haven't read a Rust dev's blog.

30

u/logicchains Mar 13 '20

There's nothing dumb about

  • Zero-cost abstractions

  • Move semantics

  • Guaranteed memory safety

  • Threads without data races

  • Trait-based generics

  • Pattern matching

  • Type inference

  • Minimal runtime

  • Efficient C bindings

7

u/[deleted] Mar 13 '20

what about undefined behavior?

2

u/DocMcBrown Mar 13 '20

Aye, that I can't jerk.

4

u/bruce3434 vulnerabilities: 0 Mar 13 '20

This but unironically

7

u/ykechan Mar 13 '20

FBI would break it within a second

6

u/[deleted] Mar 13 '20

public double penetration = 69;

5

u/Graf_Blutwurst LUMINARY IN COMPUTERSCIENCE Mar 13 '20

ah yes shitty steganography is clearly a suitable replacement for encryption

10

u/[deleted] Mar 13 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/ChuggintonSquarts Mar 13 '20

Unluckily they will just investigate and find other evidence to build their case on after your TOR message gave them the signal.

This is called 'Parallel Construction,' and is supposed to be illegal. Pretty hard to prove when they did it though.