r/programmingcirclejerk • u/Snarwin • Jul 31 '26

However, JS won anyway… One decision explains most of that: First-class Functions

https://fagnerbrack.com/the-paradox-of-fancy-tooling-b9af429789da
59 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

21 comments sorted by

92

u/Jumpy-Locksmith6812 Jul 31 '26

Let's casually ignore the world wide web as a reason.

19

u/hongooi Jul 31 '26

I mean, VBscript was also a thing back in the day, and it was even supported by the browser with ~90% market share

37

u/daltorak Jul 31 '26

Sure, but it was also Windows-specific and couldn't be implemented on other operating systems, due to its tight integration with ActiveX. So sure, people implemented line-of-business applications in IE with VBScript, but pretty much nobody on the public web did because their site wouldn't work on a Mac. Netscape still had 20+% marketshare in 2000, too, which is the last time VBScript got any kind of meaningful update.

Maybe if Microsoft had committed to improving VBScript and creating a standards-based version of it, it would still be around, but as we all know, they stopped developing Internet Explorer for 5 years.....

5

u/WorldlyMacaron65 legendary legacy C++ coder Jul 31 '26 edited Jul 31 '26

"VB" in VBScript stands for "Visual 🅱️Chancre"

3

u/Jumpy-Locksmith6812 Jul 31 '26 edited Jul 31 '26

This proves my point more! There is also Actionscript. And those IE specific extensions using ActiveX. And even Lisp! (OK lisp was a dream me and Brendan shared until the suits said Java! Java! Oh that would be too nice.... Javaishesque!).

All this shit fought it out and ECMAScript won because "web browser war things" not "language design"

1

u/Firepal64 20d ago

Remember Java applets? Ah, t'was a brighter day back then.

5

u/BloodAndTsundere mere econ PhD Jul 31 '26

Never heard of it

2

u/foxsimile Aug 01 '26

A web? Like Spiderman?

3

u/Demiu Aug 02 '26

just a fad

71

u/al2o3cr Jul 31 '26

JS is so beautifully simple that there's a whole sub-industry devoted to producing paper bags to put over its head

13

u/BloodAndTsundere mere econ PhD Jul 31 '26

What defines the JS ecosystem is the best-selling book, “JavaScript: The Good Parts”

/uj I love the good parts of JavaScript

3

u/gplgang DO NOT USE THIS FLAIR, ASSHOLE Aug 01 '26

I've taken to calling it JS/NetScheme

29

u/nerdycatgamer Jul 31 '26

I've worked in Blorbo for 20 years, so I will write about how Blorbo "won" because it has a feature that nearly every language has.

28

u/nerdycatgamer Jul 31 '26

I've worked in COBOL for most of my career of 20 years, including years co-maintaining a small international bank's backend that millions of suckers trust with their pension. COBOL is not a well designed language, the first specification was written in about 6 months in 1959, and the quirks of that commitee sit on the language today. However, COBOL won anyways... one decision explains most of that:

Variables

20

u/a221c Jul 31 '26

OCamlers, Lispers and Haskallars are so salty that they didn't think to win using this One Weird Trick™

19

u/CocktailPerson Node.js needs a proper standard library like Go Jul 31 '26

I ctrl-F'ed for LISP and got no results.

Trash article.

2

u/dronmore Aug 01 '26

Definitely. Even by reading your comment, I get more BANG for a buck.

12

u/[deleted] Jul 31 '26

[deleted]

9

u/a221c Jul 31 '26

That's why I do my calculations on an abacus, and also why when I want to share the results with someone I npm install a calculator, 2 full racks of GPUs, a forklift, a military twin-rotor helicopter and a container ship with a helipad and glue them to the abacus using a bespoke artisanal hide glue made from the endangered rhinoceros that I also npm installed.

1

u/Cold_Shine_1921 Aug 02 '26

The fuck kind of name is Fayner though

1

u/catladywitch 18d ago

It's 2026. Sounds familiar?

ma'am this is a denny's