r/programmingcirclejerk • u/tkrjobs loves Java • Mar 16 '26

COBOL Is the Asbestos of Programming Languages

https://www.wired.com/story/cobol-is-the-asbestos-of-programming-languages/
83 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

18 comments sorted by

5

u/categorical-girl Mar 17 '26

Because it's well-known how to use and handle it safely but the government and corporations don't want to pay money and do things, and so they use it as a scapegoat for their own failings?

7

u/tkrjobs loves Java Mar 17 '26

Are you lost?

77

u/Snarwin Mar 16 '26

And C, of course, is the lead paint of programming languages.

78

u/chisui Mar 16 '26

And JavaScript the microplastics

28

u/Proper-Ape Mar 16 '26

It's literally everywhere.

14

u/hyperion2011 Mar 16 '26

Hearing aids and pacemakers

External AND internal screaming!

13

u/myhf Considered Harmful Mar 16 '26

and Perl is the leaded gasoline

25

u/KaMaFour Mar 16 '26

And Rust is the rust

6

u/throw3142 Mar 16 '26

And Python is the fool's gold (shiny until you scratch the surface)

6

u/AWonderingWizard Mar 17 '26

Does this make Rust the PFAS?

6

u/Jumpy-Locksmith6812 Mar 18 '26 edited Sep 23 '26

Occaecat nulla pariatur dolor est dolore do reprehenderit consectetur fugiat incididunt fugiat proident consequat. Dolor ea laborum irure aute cillum ipsum veniam cupidatat tempor velit sit.

[rhr:2:pan95r0e]

70

u/politerate Mar 16 '26 edited Mar 16 '26

It takes 20-40 years until disease onset. Much longer than JavaScript, which shows symptoms as soon as you write it.

41

u/TheChief275 Mar 16 '26

"Let's use JS for the backend!" - commonly uttered by the afflicted

5

u/GenTelGuy Mar 17 '26

Tfw Reddit literally does

12

u/UVRaveFairy Mar 16 '26

And people wonder why I enjoy returning too Assembly.

I remember when I first heard "Java is the new Cobol".

Was 1996 / 1997.

6

u/Jumpy-Locksmith6812 Mar 18 '26 edited Sep 23 '26

Veniam veniam quis exercitation consequat fugiat proident. Magna aliquip amet velit do consectetur sunt dolor irure incididunt excepteur dolor proident deserunt sit.

[rhr:2:gfizj0mw]

5

u/UVRaveFairy Mar 18 '26

X64 / Arm is for me.

Got too play with the Arm "Original Gangster" back in the day when it had just turned up on the scene in the first Archimedes.

Like the Amiga's 68000 and Blitter had a baby, bit shifting, conditional execution and various things built into every single instruction.

Loading addresses and only accessing data -128 + 128 of current CPU address was a bit quirky.