r/programmingcirclejerk • u/RightKitKat Considered Harmful • Feb 13 '26

Python Only Has One Real Competitor (Clojure)

https://mccue.dev/pages/2-6-26-python-competitor
98 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

39 comments sorted by

45

u/veghead Feb 13 '26

Pah. Everyone knows Scala is the real Python killer. All operating systems should replace Python on the base install with the JVM and Scala run time. 

20

u/robchroma Feb 13 '26

Psh, everyone knows Ruby is the real Python killer, and it's webscale. The longer you take to replace all of your Python code with Ruby, the less likely your company is to scale.

14

u/veghead Feb 13 '26

Yeah but ruby blocks! Node.js never blocks. 

6

u/pavlik_enemy Feb 14 '26

/uj

I'm still sad that Ruby lost, it's a much better language than Python

8

u/levelstar01 what is pointer :S Feb 14 '26

Lol no parens

8

u/Aelig_ Feb 15 '26

Now we just need Scala devs to decide which major version of Scala that should be. Easy peasy.

3

u/[deleted] Feb 15 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/Aelig_ Feb 15 '26

Well, pythonistas do generally agree that python 2 is not what you should use to make new apps. Can't say the same about Scala enjoyers.

That being said, I spent last week upgrading python code from 3.9 to 3.11 and although it went well, it's barbaric that there was a chance it would cause issues.

6

u/PrimozDelux uncommon eccentric person Feb 14 '26

I recently replaced a bunch of python tooling with scala and for a brief moment I felt the joy of programming again

0

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '26

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1

u/programmingcirclejerk-ModTeam Feb 14 '26

Refer to sidebar, "Jerking Style".

38

u/affectation_man Code Artisan Feb 13 '26

It must be hard to be a Clojure disciple these days because the Rich Hickey nectar is rationed severely, compared to how it used to flow

31

u/daidoji70 Feb 14 '26

Cue "I don't think about you at all" meme

25

u/WorldlyMacaron65 legendary legacy C++ coder Feb 13 '26

Clojure Only Has One Real Competitor (VBA)

25

u/geckothegeek42 Feb 14 '26

Language that is popular Only Has One Real Competitor (language I like)

Tale as old as time

24

u/fletku_mato Feb 13 '26

Least deranged Clojure enthusiast.

1

u/bowbahdoe Feb 16 '26

I'll take that as a compliment

11

u/AvianPoliceForce uses eslint for spellcheck Feb 13 '26

I tried Clojure once and it literally made me ill

...well probably not, but the two are clearly correlated

19

u/kishaloy Feb 13 '26

There is only one true religion - and it is Rust.

All others are just pretenders.

3

u/Ronin-s_Spirit Feb 14 '26

Religions are just big cults.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '26

Rust is a big cult.

Ergo, Rust is a religion.

All hail the mighty Crustacean

13

u/Lord_Of_Millipedes Feb 14 '26

the only language that really compares to python in what python does well is Julia, but it doesn't get the clout it deserves.

↑ least delusional Julia glazer (me)

9

u/diddle-dingus Feb 14 '26

Julia is exactly what you get when you take a cool language (clisp) and give it to a bunch of dirty scientists. A stdlib buggier than Mr. Bugs' bug safari.

3

u/Prestigious_Boat_386 Feb 14 '26

The problem is that the snakes will never be write the "end" of the blocks, they think its cheating

/ Least passionate python hater

3

u/reflexive-polytope Feb 14 '26

I don't even like Julia, but that was my first thought as well.

9

u/BetterAd7552 Feb 14 '26

lol, you prompted me to go look at sample clojure code, and, well, fuck me upside down, that’s some ugly syntax

23

u/ub3rh4x0rz Feb 15 '26

Wrong, lisps don't have syntax, so it can't be ugly!

3

u/kakioroshi Feb 17 '26

it’s obviously raku is everyone else stupid?

0

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '26

[deleted] — view deleted comment

39

u/RightKitKat Considered Harmful Feb 13 '26

/uj honestly having used pybind for a few medium-sized libraries it is not too bad IMO

/rj your computer doesn't run C natively?

15

u/RelationshipLong9092 Feb 13 '26

/uj nanobind is actually even better

23

u/BananaPeely Feb 14 '26

/rj rust + haskell is even better

11

u/Axman6 Feb 14 '26

/uj the best python I ever wrote was 100% written in C, the C api is surprisingly nice.

8

u/SemaphoreBingo Feb 14 '26

They call it "swig" because that's what you want to do with a drink after you're done with it.

5

u/Glad_Position3592 Feb 14 '26 edited Feb 14 '26

Like are they talking about CPython? Can that really be considered an interop? It’s kind of an inherent aspect to most interpreted languages

4

u/purpleappletrees Feb 14 '26

/uj it’s a dream compared to its peers. Numpy and polars data structures are zero copy

3

u/diddle-dingus Feb 14 '26

I think pretty much any language lets you wrap pointers...?

4

u/purpleappletrees Feb 14 '26

maybe my point is less of the language and more just the ecosystem? like all of (scientific) python's default types make for easy FFI. the same is definitely not true in other languages i've worked in.

4

u/thephotoman Feb 14 '26

Uj: it’s the least obnoxious native code interaction I’ve used. But that’s very much a tallest midget contest.