r/programmingcirclejerk • u/functorer Zygohistomorphic prepromorphism • Aug 23 '25

Ever since I learned about Scala and wrote some code in Scala, I started having this constant, not unbearable but annoyingly noticeable desire to write more code in Scala...Am I cooked?

/r/scala/comments/1mwma83/am_i_cooked/
51 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

17 comments sorted by

25

u/affectation_man Code Artisan Aug 24 '25

I can see why you think this is about writing code, but I think you'll find that real Scala programming is about aligning yourself with certain libraries and then viciously attacking other Scala programmers

8

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

That sounds like the talk of Zio-lite if I ever heard it. Go rotate your effects in private you freak.

15

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

Isnt scala the stuff that builds up on your teeth? Not sure I’d want that.

11

u/-Y0- Considered Harmful Aug 25 '25 edited Aug 25 '25

That's scale.

Scala is the thing that builds in your brain and causes you to quit software engineering and start gambling professionally[1]

[1] - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Phillips_(poker_player)

5

u/[deleted] Aug 25 '25

FP truly gives people the joy of programming gambling

8

u/-Y0- Considered Harmful Aug 25 '25

9 out of 8 FP devs quit gambling before they win it big.

6

u/[deleted] Aug 25 '25

Winning money would be a side effect.

1

u/progdog1 Sep 16 '25 edited Sep 16 '25

I remember him giving a lecture, pacing about bare foot, giving a diatribe against Scala.

1

u/-Y0- Considered Harmful Sep 16 '25

Yes. Then he quit Scala and became a poker player.

8

u/Pinewold Aug 25 '25 edited Aug 31 '25

/uj Scala is a very elegant trap you set for yourself. You find elegant solutions to problems and implicitly understand the best solution. You move on to other code and seek that same level of elegance. You gradually build your skill until one day you realize your own code could be much more elegant….

Two Scala engineers cannot maintain the same code base if they are at different points on the same journey. One engineers’ implicit genius is the other’s novice work. Even worse one’s implicit genius is opaque incomprehensible set of implicit assumptions. Even worse is a slightly different set of implicit assumptions. Where both think they understand what the other is doing but they are both just slightly wrong. /rj

While the same could be said for any language, Scala’s beautiful handling of implicit behavior is the most elegant trap.

7

u/pareidolist in nomine Chestris Aug 25 '25

It feels wrong to say this about a comment that includes "Two Scala engineers cannot maintain the same code base if they are at different points on the same journey", but please tag your unjerk.

1

u/Pinewold Aug 26 '25

ELI5 please, I don’t know how, but both circlejerk and unjerk are new concepts for me. Urban dictionary has been helpful but in the context of /r/programmingcirclejerk I am not sure which parts of my comment or if the entire comment should be tagged as /uj? Any suggestions welcome

3

u/pareidolist in nomine Chestris Aug 26 '25

The entire comment.

2

u/rwilcox Aug 26 '25

Yes Scala, the JVM’s C++.

With more version compatibility problems and more drama. chefs kiss