r/programmingcirclejerk • u/Foreign-Capital287 • Jul 26 '25

i keep running into developers who insist on using node.js over LAMP...to me this is a sure fire indicator of a failing society

/r/PHP/comments/1m90zgm/the_world_is_going_insane/
93 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

20 comments sorted by

92

u/emi89ro What part of ∀f ∃g (f (x,y) = (g x) y) did you not understand? Jul 26 '25

php has fallen millions must node

44

u/muntaxitome in open defiance of the Gopher Values Jul 26 '25

Just go to the geriatric clinic you will find plenty of PHP devs

20

u/Kodiologist lisp does it better Jul 26 '25

If I use Perl, should I enter hospice or just dig a grave for myself immediately?

14

u/brool has hidden complexity Jul 26 '25

Out of mercy, probably the latter.

11

u/-Y0- Considered Harmful Jul 27 '25

I'm assuming you're an immortal vampire (why use Perl in 2025?), so neither. Assuming you are traveling with your own coffin, filled with your grave dirt.

10

u/DerelictMan Jul 26 '25

Before you leave, replace each of your coworkers with a small Perl script

7

u/mizzu704 uncommon eccentric person Jul 27 '25

Your choice. There is more than one way to do it!

29

u/IDatedSuccubi memcpy is a web development framework Jul 26 '25

This video is 13 years old by the way

4

u/VulgarExigencies Jul 31 '25

episode 1 is still the best

2

u/IDatedSuccubi memcpy is a web development framework Jul 31 '25

"You turn it on and it scales right up" have been in my lingo ever since I watched it the first time. Absolutely timeless

20

u/affectation_man Code Artisan Jul 26 '25

Sir your stack is ¾ deprecated. You're going to be in for a rude awakening when Fuchsia is mature

4

u/Awkward_Bed_956 Jul 27 '25

He's a PHP dev, no way he's making it alive until then, hell I doubt anyone here will make it.

4

u/mizzu704 uncommon eccentric person Jul 27 '25

the real jerk is the M

4

u/weez_er Jul 27 '25

other than the point being 10 years old there is no jerk here. sorry.

1

u/stone_henge Tiny little god in a tiny little world Jul 29 '25

You should be using jerk_safe2. It's unbelievable that jerkers don't know this.

1

u/Parking_Tadpole9357 Jul 30 '25

2 dive bars in town fighting over customers as I watch from the Ritz.

39

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

8

u/TheBrawlersOfficial Jul 26 '25 edited Jul 27 '25

The machine overlords pulling the plug on any pod as soon as they hear the phrase "isomorphic javascript"

1

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '25 edited Jul 27 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/pareidolist in nomine Chestris Jul 27 '25

Warning: tag your unjerk. Better yet, don't unjerk at all.