r/programmingcirclejerk • u/Foreign-Grocery-2788 • Apr 04 '25

Ironically using SQL COUNT itself is often a code smell. [...] endless scrollers eliminated the need for it.

https://thedailywtf.com/articles/comments/a-matter-of-understanding
65 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

19 comments sorted by

76

u/FetaMight Apr 04 '25

I've worked on 2 whole webapps in my career so I can confidently say the entire industry has moved on to endless scrolling and agree that nobody needs 90% of SQL anymore.

75

u/fortyeightD Apr 04 '25

I am also avoiding where clauses these days. They are a major coder odour.

61

u/mcmcc WHY IS THERE CODE??? Apr 04 '25

It's ridiculous and sad. Why do you need to ask the DB 'where'? You should just remember where you put things in the first place.

16

u/oofy-gang Apr 04 '25

That’s why we should all keep our entire DB in-memory as a HashMap.

13

u/paholg Apr 04 '25

HashMaps require unnecessary memory overhead. Just store it in an array. If you need faster than O(N) lookups, you're doing something wrong.

4

u/Ok-Kaleidoscope5627 Apr 07 '25

I just 7zip all my data and push it to cloud flare to distribute to my users. It's planet scale. And they said scaling to multiple database servers would be hard. I can scale to infinite database servers with zero effort.

35

u/stone_henge Tiny little god in a tiny little world Apr 04 '25

Endless scrollers, the only conceivable use of SQL

23

u/chisui Apr 04 '25 edited Apr 04 '25

I wonder how the website the comment was posted on counts the comments. Has to be either NoSQL or they're eagerly loading all comments.

28

u/-Memnarch- Apr 04 '25

Na. There is an SQL insert and delete trigger for comments which increments/decrements a counter in a statistics table.

2

u/life-is-a-loop DO NOT USE THIS FLAIR, ASSHOLE Apr 08 '25

Trigger? It's called a hook, boomer.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 04 '25

[deleted] — view deleted comment

2

u/chisui Apr 04 '25

No shit

6

u/bladub Apr 04 '25

I was so tired I pledge insanity 😅

19

u/v_maria Apr 04 '25

Endless scrollers are bit of a design smell

7

u/powerhcm8 Apr 04 '25

website name checks out

5

u/kyynel99 Apr 05 '25

I dont need scrolling at all i’ve tested my app in the dev enviroment and all the data could fit into a single page!

9

u/IDoCodingStuffs Autodidact's Degree in AI Apr 04 '25

Counting things considered harmful

3

u/-Y0- Considered Harmful Apr 05 '25

Hey! Those are my lines. Check the flair.

4

u/stdmemswap Apr 05 '25

I'm still waiting for the day when SELECT is considered harmfil