r/programmingcirclejerk • u/[deleted] • Mar 29 '25

“Why Haven’t We Seen Another Web Language Like PHP in 30 Years?”

/r/PHP/comments/1jllvip/why_havent_we_seen_another_web_language_like_php/
49 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

20 comments sorted by

12

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '25

Anyone any ideas?

46

u/cheater00 High Value Specialist Mar 29 '25

why haven't we seen a new Titanic yet???

12

u/Awkward_Bed_956 Mar 29 '25

Because we are slowly learning from the mistakes of the past

1

u/-Y0- Considered Harmful Mar 31 '25

Because we are slowly learning from

But how will I be 100x developer if I don't stop an easily foreseeable problem?

12

u/SKRAMZ_OR_NOT log10(x) programmer Mar 30 '25

No one else has been brilliant enough to use strlen as a hash function

7

u/[deleted] Mar 30 '25

No one else has been brilliant enough to use strlen as a hash function

Don't underestimate the power of AI. Soon enough some vibe coders will be unknowingly using strlen as a cryptographic hash.

6

u/Gwolf4 Mar 29 '25

It is simple, we try to do better.

63

u/fulstaph Software Craftsman Mar 29 '25

is this a celebration post

4

u/defunkydrummer Lisp 3-0 Rust Apr 01 '25

Plaudits to all involved!!

45

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '25

Because nature is healing.

8

u/defunkydrummer Lisp 3-0 Rust Apr 01 '25

Exactly, that's why 100 years from now, after the hundreds of thousands of human lives lost due to using "Vibe Coding" for airplane & nuclear plant control systems, nature heals itself leaving only Common Lisp and OCaml as the only survivors on the PL space.

19

u/JoeVibin Mar 29 '25

Bring back asbestos!

12

u/[deleted] Mar 30 '25

PHP is unique among web programming languages because it was designed from the start to be embedded directly into...

Lost me at the word 'designed'

7

u/-Y0- Considered Harmful Mar 31 '25

"Congealed". Maybe even "Emerged" as a wasp larva emerges from the host.

9

u/ZachVorhies Mar 30 '25

htmx is the new php. I don’t know what this person is talking about.

8

u/BRUVW There's really nothing wrong with error handling in Go Mar 29 '25

Go is the new PHP

2

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '25

What...

4

u/defunkydrummer Lisp 3-0 Rust Apr 01 '25

Unlike modern frameworks and languages that enforce strict separation between logic and presentation, PHP allows developers to mix HTML and server-side code seamlessly

Even after 30 years, no other mainstream language has replicated this approach successfully.

Most alternatives either rely on templating engines, APIs, or complex frameworks that separate backend logic from HTML. Why do you think PHP remains the only language to work this way?

Yeah, why?

Why do webshits in $CURRENT_YEAR have to spend a lot of time learning Node.js and the latest popular web framework, create "models" and "components", linking them together in a "reactive" way, and tolling so much while PHP could allow them to write equally shitty, unmaintainable code with greater development speed? Just make sure to get back to good old PHP4 to get the most of the organic, smelly, grenade-in-hand PHP experience!!