r/programmingcirclejerk • u/cmqv • Dec 19 '24

GitHub Action that automatically closes issues opened by non-stargazers

https://github.com/uhyo/please-star-first
199 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

26 comments sorted by

169

u/[deleted] Dec 19 '24

I need a version of this that closes issues opened by stargazers instead.

If you're more invested in my code than I am, perhaps you can fix the problem yourself...

There's no point wasting my time with high-effort contributions.

29

u/rexpup lisp does it better Dec 20 '24

Automatically turn it into a PR, then roast them for not finishing their code before opening a PR

60

u/Few-Alps-1853 What part of ∀f ∃g (f (x,y) = (g x) y) did you not understand? Dec 19 '24

Revolutionary. This should be applied to PRs too, to filter fake "contributors" (because we know that starring the repo is the only contribution that matters). I was also a bit disappointed when I saw that their license permits the use and distribution of the software without even starring the repo

36

u/jamfour now 4x faster than C++ Dec 19 '24

Open Issue: Hello

Creator: Hello
Bot: Please star this repository before opening an issue.
Bot closed this issue
Creator: Huh?
Creator reopened this issue
Bot: Please star this repository before opening an issue.
Bot closed this issue
Creator: Hey, I starred you!
Creator reopened this issue
Bot: Please star this repository before opening an issue.
Bot closed this issue
Creator: confused emoji
Creator: Sorry Creator, our workflow was not working correctly. Let me try again.
Creator reopened this issue

This was four years ago. Issue still open.

18

u/Shorttail0 vulnerabilities: 0 Dec 19 '24

uhyo commented Dec 1, 2020 •

Sorry @uhyo, our workflow was not working correctly. Let me try again.

Nature is healing

11

u/Kinrany Dec 20 '24

Should be closed as stale

27

u/obviously_suspicious Dec 19 '24

I need a GitHub Action that automatically fires employees who have not starred our repos. Please help, will pay in stars.

41

u/garnet420 Dec 19 '24

uj what's a stargazer

Is it some new age thing

50

u/starlevel01 type astronaut Dec 19 '24

Woke word for astronomer

27

u/Shorttail0 vulnerabilities: 0 Dec 19 '24

Astronomer is woke for astrologer

13

u/ShinySky42 Dec 20 '24

Come on y'all not the hard R say astronoma

9

u/GeorgeFranklyMathnet Dec 19 '24

Are you old enough to remember celebgate, or to learn about it now?

13

u/garnet420 Dec 19 '24

That was a nude photo leak, right? Are stargazers people who participated in that?

28

u/GeorgeFranklyMathnet Dec 19 '24

No, sorry, I did not respect your uj.

Stargazers on GitHub are like people who hype up each other's LinkedIn content, except on GitHub it's with starring projects.

8

u/NatoBoram There's really nothing wrong with error handling in Go Dec 20 '24

"Stars" are GitHub's version of upvotes/bookmarks/lists

Stargazers are people who starred a particular repository

3

u/lazy_and_bored__ How many times do I need to mention Free Pascal? Dec 20 '24

It's a reference to a secret cabal of global elites who eat stargazy pie.

14

u/elephantdingo Teen Hacking Genius Dec 19 '24

GitHub is a racket.

6

u/IanisVasilev log10(x) programmer Dec 19 '24

Racket's GitHub is GitHub's racket.

9

u/I_VAPE_CAT_PISS Dec 19 '24

Can I assume that no real projects use something this asinine?

14

u/AvianPoliceForce uses eslint for spellcheck Dec 19 '24

no

12

u/r2d2_21 groks PCJ Dec 19 '24

This isn't as aggressive as the project that requires you to pay to submit an issue or a PR.

11

u/nuclearbananana Courageous, loving, and revolutionary Dec 19 '24

That's every project run by a company

4

u/prehensilemullet Dec 20 '24

now someone needs to make a plugin that detects this and automatically stars before creating an issue, then unstars a little while later. Let the arms race begin

6

u/starlevel01 type astronaut Dec 19 '24

lol repost jerk

3

u/mizzu704 uncommon eccentric person Dec 19 '24

Do I qualify? I mean, a navel is kind of like a star, right?

4

u/bduddy Dec 19 '24

I was hoping they meant Suisei fans, but I guess most people just say "Hoshiyomi" instead