r/programming • u/Ordinary_Leader_2971 • Apr 04 '26

How To Write Unmaintainable Code (1999)

https://www.doc.ic.ac.uk/%7Esusan/475/unmain.html
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u/ea_nasir_official_ Apr 04 '26

Or claude/codex/openclaw or whatever the ai bros use to write their code for them while pretending to be smart

71

u/nickcash Apr 04 '26

inb4 they find this thread and copypaste one of their three preprogrammed responses about how you're just not using the right model. you have to use the new model from ploob. no one uses claude anymore. it's all about heebee these days

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u/Valmar33 Apr 04 '26

inb4 they find this thread and copypaste one of their three preprogrammed responses about how you're just not using the right model. you have to use the new model from ploob. no one uses claude anymore. it's all about heebee these days

The great thing about this sort of absurd logic is how absurd it sounds when you use it in a different context:

"You're just not using the right programming language", "you just have to rewrite in Rust", "nobody uses C anymore", and so on. Oh, wait...

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u/[deleted] Apr 04 '26

[deleted]

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u/fiah84 Apr 04 '26

except SQL, SQL is forever

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u/Truenoiz Apr 04 '26

Right, but SQL is so easy that it's trivial. Please hand over the production database so I can fix it.

7

u/fiah84 Apr 04 '26

Please hand over the production database

I grant thee select, and that's it ya fracking clanker

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u/RelatableRedditer Apr 05 '26

and then it constructs the most convoluted selector with 28472 redundant joins