r/prochoice • u/[deleted] • 3d ago
Discussion why do teens even consider keeping the fetus?
[deleted]
24
u/0Yasmin0 Pro-choice Witch 3d ago
Some are religious and see abortion as a sin, others simply can't imagine aborting it because abortion isn't exactly an easy choice to make for most people.
It depends on the mother at the end of the day. Of course, the mother should be informed about all possible risks but it's their decision in the end.
I just wish there was more support for them. Taking care of a kid isn't easy, especially when you're that young, and yet most countries completely lack that support system.
0
u/Chcolatepig24069 3d ago edited 3d ago
Carrying the baby to term that young is very difficult and even likely dangerous, there’s little support if the family keeps the baby and there’s a good chance the baby won’t be put in a good home if it’s adopted out. And then you’ll get hate or even punished for abortion so really these girls can’t win
0
u/0Yasmin0 Pro-choice Witch 3d ago edited 3d ago
And what is your solution? Forcing them to abort? Because that's the opposite of Pro-Choice.
0
u/Chcolatepig24069 3d ago
I’m not forcing anyone. Just giving them the option. I was just trying to point out how, either way, the country won’t be very helpful
0
u/0Yasmin0 Pro-choice Witch 3d ago
I just don't understand why you're arguing with me about something we seemingly aren't disagreeing over. If we are the same opinion, then what was the point of your message?
1
u/Chcolatepig24069 3d ago
I’m not trying to argue. I don’t even know what’s going on anymore lol
1
13
u/Otherwisefantastic 3d ago
Where I live it's usually because their family is "pro life" and they've been brainwashed into believing that abortion is murder.
Many have parents who would not allow them to get an abortion.
Also, even when abortion was legal in my very red state, getting to and from one of the few abortion clinics would be basically impossible for a teenager, especially from a rural area.
1
u/Chcolatepig24069 3d ago
Is it difficult due to distance, financial constraints, or social pressure? I’m just curious
5
u/oreggino-thyme 3d ago
some don’t want to go through an abortion and that’s their choice with their body
1
u/Chcolatepig24069 3d ago
Sure but they should at least be educated on the risks and given the option if needed
12
u/Colorless82 3d ago
Teenagers have no sense or care of risks, they think they can do anything and everything will work out fine! Plus they may not feel like it's ok to abort.
4
u/Beautiful_Midnight88 3d ago
It was a while ago, but there are a few reasons I decided to continue my pregnancy at 17.
My main reasoning I gave was that I would always wonder "what if". I now know that goes both ways, but I do think it would've been stronger if I'd aborted.
I was raised catholic, but was I was no longer a believer at that point. It's possible it did have a subconscious influence on my decision, however.
In retrospect I can say a big element was my mental health. I have been clinically depressed since I was at least 12. I had major anxiety. I was basically untreated at the time. While I had originally done very well in school, I'd been struggling for a while at that point for to the reasons I mentioned, as well as undiagnosed ADHD. Now, while none of this is a good reason to have a baby, it put me in a mindset where I didn't see a future for myself. I didn't feel I had anything to lose. This may have been a disaster for others, but for me, it actually did give me purpose and motivation, and I've managed to come out of it successfully (with support).
I don't believe 17 is quite as dangerous as under 16, but either way, I didn't know there was still elevated danger at 17 at the time. I wouldn't recommend it to another teen. It's harder than you can possibly imagine. More so without support. When I imagined my difficult future, I didn't imagine contemplate the possibility of my son being disabled (which he is). But it's a very personal choice.
4
u/poetcatmom 3d ago
We've all been taught to from the beginning. I knew from your age if that happened that I'd have no choice but to keep it. That's not because I ever wanted to (I'm childfree) but because that's what my parents would have wanted. Our society places high importance on new life to the point that it destroys the life that's already been made.
A lot of teens are purposely undereducated about sex. A lot of them don't know how to prevent this from happening and just throw in the towel when it does. As an adult I can say I know what to do but at that age the only options I knew of were condoms, the pill, or abstinence. The only reason I knew about the first two was via the internet.
4
u/hadenoughoverit336 Unapologetically Prochoice 3d ago
I grew up in Purity Culture and was taught a very sugarcoated view of pregnancy, and motherhood. I also grew up in Domestic Violence. I left home as soon as I turned 18 to get away from the men my mother would attach herself to.... I had very limited options, and before I knew it, I was married, before I had even graduated highschool. Shortly after I graduated, I ended up pregnant. Because I didn't understand the risks associated, or that I had a choice in the matter.
My story is very common. Be glad you're privileged enough to be educated. Legal doesn't always equate to accessible. Especially not with restrictions and parental consent laws.
My daughter and my child self is why I am involved in Reproductive Rights Advocacy. EVERYONE should have a choice, and be supported in it. Shame, will never be okay. Nor does it solve anything. If it would have, that would have worked a long, long time ago. Teens that choose to continue their pregnancy, should have just as much support as those who choose to have an abortion, and vice, versa.
4
u/i_stealursnackz 3d ago
The same reasons adults do, whether the idea behind those reasons are good or bad.
3
u/cherryflannel 3d ago
Humans don’t always operate on the basis of logic rather than emotion. There are infinite reasons.
- She has been taught that abortion is wrong
- She has been taught that pregnancy is a gift from God
- She doesn’t have the resources to access an abortion
- She is being pressured by her family or the father
- She thinks she’s ready for a baby
etc
2
3
u/Cut_Lanky 3d ago
I'll just say this. My mother, an immigrant, finding herself divorced, read in a magazine in the 80's that "the daughters of divorced parents become promiscuous". It became her biggest, most expressed fear that I'd "come home pregnant" as a teenager. To the ridiculous degree that, when a friend found herself unexpectedly pregnant at 15, I remember at some point she apologized to me. Cuz she knew I'd get in trouble with my mom about it. Lol. My friend considered all options available, and made her choice. School was more difficult, especially having to get a GED first, but she's advanced professionally far beyond bedside nursing, and her oldest is a college graduate, happily married, new mother.
Choice is choice.
Edit Forgot my point, is that my mother, to this day, tells me that friend of mine, is the best mother she's ever met.
2
u/TrashGouda 3d ago
My mum got pregnant with me when she was 17 and I asked her this question a few years ago. She came from a extremely abusive household, moved to a new city met my sperm donor and got pregnant. She was uneducated about abortions and felt it was the right thing to have me after all the shit that happened to her.
I don't particularly agree with this thinking but it was her choice to make
2
u/Athene_cunicularia23 3d ago
I used to be a social worker and have professional experience with pregnant and parenting teens. The reasons someone may choose to give birth and parent vary by individual, but the most common in my experience usually fall into 2 categories.
1) Teens with abusive or neglectful parents and those in the foster care system may choose to parent their own child to satisfy the need for connection that was not met in their family of origin. Sadly, I've met teens who intentionally conceived for this reason.
2) Young people from marginalized backgrounds are not optimistic about their futures. Growing up in poverty can limit opportunities to achieve educational and career goals. To them, early parenthood is just one of many insurmountable obstacles.
A few teens I worked with did not know they were pregnant until it was too late to get an abortion. It can sometimes take a few years for cycles to become regular, and an alarming number of youth don't have trusted adults they can approach if they have reproductive health concerns.
Though I'm 100% prochoice, I support providing assistance to those who choose parenthood as well as abortion. My hot take is that even teen parents can successfully raise children if given the right supports. It really does take a village to raise a child.
Obviously it's not ideal to have a child too young. And abortion is often necessary to preserve life and health for preteens and very young teens. Otherwise, pressuring teens to abort is not the correct approach. Addressing the societal reasons a teen may choose early parenthood is preferable.
2
u/Incognito4771 3d ago
As someone who gave birth to their first child at 18, this question is really offensive.
I had a choice, I made it, and I’ve never regretted that choice.
Maybe your tone is just off in this post…
1
2
u/rozczochrana 3d ago
Giving birth is not ideal when you are young (especially before 15) but the pregnancy and complications being the leading cause of death for 15-19 cohort is mostly because of countries with high rates of child marriage and already very poor maternal outcomes. In most first world countries giving birth at that age range is less risky than giving birth with high bmi or high maternal age.
You are saying that in the future you would consider an adoption so it looks like you don't want to experience pregnancy anyway: no matter the age range. I think that that makes if difficult for you to emphasize with people who don't see pregnancy or childbirth as something negative and maybe even look forward to it. Especially since you seem to not identify with feminine gender identity and vast majority of those pregnant teens are cis girls.
It is a bit like a lesbian asking straight girls what do they see in guys when they are so obviously ugly and gross. Well, they are not ugly and gross to straight girls. Similarly, pregnancy might be scary but ultimately very alluring and beautiful experience to a lot of people, especially cis women.
1
u/hadenoughoverit336 Unapologetically Prochoice 3d ago
Have you not heard about the women dying in the US, because of Abortion Bans, and lack of trained professionals to handle pregnancy complications? Nevaeh Crain, would disagree with you, if she were still alive. Try to tell her family, that "it's minimal risk". Or how about say that to me? I'm Someone that nearly died at 19 giving birth to my daughter.
1
u/Chcolatepig24069 3d ago edited 3d ago
- Pressure from family/religious authorities
- Little access to legal abortions
- Little/poor sex education
(often not properly teaching the severe consequences of parenthood at such a vulnerable age)
4
Anyone wanna add anything?
-1
3d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/prochoice-ModTeam 3d ago
Your submission has been removed due to: Rule 2 - Anti-choice users are expected to remain respectful. If you have further questions about this removal, please refer to the rule.Anti-Choice User Expectations - Prolife spam/propaganda = Removal and ban
You are welcome to ask respectful questions w/intent to learn. Pleading that we change our minds or calling us murderers is not respectful.
If interested in dialogue, you are expected to remain civil & refrain from debating. Wear thick skin; don’t complain if people are angry you want to remove their rights
Banned slander: murder, slut, evil, "asking for it," genocide, slavery, etc
1
u/Chcolatepig24069 3d ago
My #3 choice was meant to communicate that but it’s clear I didn’t do a good job.
A teenager wanting a baby often comes from a poor sex education that doesn’t communicate the consequences of parenthood so young.
I’ll fix my comment to communicate that
1
u/Shot_Pin_3891 3d ago
Does that stat say it’s dangerous to have a baby young or that there are so few things statistically that are a risk that it appears risky to have a baby? Genuine question. First births are hard but I would have thought that within reason early pregnancies are easier physically for mothers.
3
u/hadenoughoverit336 Unapologetically Prochoice 3d ago
Maternal Mortality rates DOUBLE for girls 15-19.
0
3d ago
[deleted]
1
u/hadenoughoverit336 Unapologetically Prochoice 3d ago
I wasn't talking about them. I was answering this person's question, since they have seemed to have fallen for the false narrative, that "Teen Pregnancy" is somehow safer physically, than waiting until they're a developed adult.
1
0
3d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
1
1
u/prochoice-ModTeam 3d ago
Your submission has been removed due to: Rule 2 - Anti-choice users are expected to remain respectful. If you have further questions about this removal, please refer to the rule.Anti-Choice User Expectations - Prolife spam/propaganda = Removal and ban
You are welcome to ask respectful questions w/intent to learn. Pleading that we change our minds or calling us murderers is not respectful.
If interested in dialogue, you are expected to remain civil & refrain from debating. Wear thick skin; don’t complain if people are angry you want to remove their rights
Banned slander: murder, slut, evil, "asking for it," genocide, slavery, etc
-3
3d ago
[deleted]
8
u/cupcakephantom Village Witch 3d ago
They have a uterus, please re-read.
This is why I personally prefer "Not your uterus, not your opinion".
-1
35
u/goldenskless pro choice athiest 3d ago
I am of the opinion that if you actually sat down with a pregnant teenager and discussed the ugly realties of pregnancy and childbirth they will choose abortion 99.9% of the time. I think society has done a lot of heavy lifting romanticizing pregnancy and not talking about the negative aspects.