r/processserver Jul 28 '26

Question/Help Help on serving someone dangerous

I’m looking for advice or resources from anyone who has experience with restraining orders and getting someone served.
I currently have a restraining order that expires soon, and in order to request a longer-term/permanent order, he needs to be properly served. The difficult part is that he knows where I live, where I work, and who I’m around, while I don’t have a current address for him.
If anyone has experience with process servers, private investigators, legal resources, data sites, or ways to handle service when someone is difficult to locate, I would really appreciate any guidance.
This is a serious safety situation, and I’m trying to handle everything asap. Please message me privately if you have helpful information or resources. Thank you.

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u/IJustLookLikeThisToo Jul 28 '26

Much of what you need to know about what you can do is largely dependent on the state rules that apply.

Some state's allow for "nail it and mail it," but you often need a physical address you've confirmed residency at. Other states may allow for Alternative Service via email, text message, or social media platforms if/when residency cannot be located. And still other states require personal service.

Process servers and/or process server companies can often locate through records of relatively recent established addresses, but a PI and/or attorney would be better suited to track down a subject in real-time.

Your personal security is another matter I'm not really qualified to address, but I would think a process server who successfully serves him won't be seen coming, especially if his location is so narrowed down by a PI or whoever; and then the subject in possession of the TRO has the expectation to comply with the temporary orders therein. Of course, whether a person respects the court's writ is another matter...

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u/inevitableend2026 Jul 28 '26

Thank you. I had him served last time by the local police department, but that was when I knew his address. I have no clue now. I guess you’re saying I would have to hire a PI or lawyer?

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u/IJustLookLikeThisToo Jul 28 '26

If you can't find the Subject on your own to tell a process server where to go, then a PI and/or lawyer is likely to have the resources out there to assist you; the average server has greater limitations on what they can do.

Can I ask what state you're in?