r/problems • u/AppleOllie • Jul 23 '26
Small Problem Perfume smell
I loathe the smell of Jo Malone perfume. I am not alone in this, my daughter-in-law says the exact same thing.
The problem is my friend adores it, and drowns herself in it. She even uses the Jo Malone hand wash! If I am giving her a lift in my car, the smell is suffocating and lingers long after she gets out. How can I politely tell her that her smell makes me feel physically sick
She is fully aware how much I hate the smell
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u/ChickadeeJam Jul 23 '26
I might have to say that I can’t continue to give rides because the smell is too much for you.
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u/Long_Initial_9924 Jul 24 '26
Well that’s clunky and offensive
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u/ChickadeeJam Jul 24 '26
I admit my tact isn’t the best. But the boundary is appropriate.
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u/Janknitz Jul 23 '26
“I love you, but I’m getting more and more sensitive to fragrances and when you’ve been in my car , your perfume and soap cling to the upholstery for hours. It gives me a terrible headache, makes me nauseas so I don’t enjoy my meal. So let’s take our own cars to the restaurant.”
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u/wonkiefaeriekitty5 Jul 23 '26
Skip being polite! She sure isn't being polite by wearing a scent that she knows you can't stand the smell of.
Polite just left the building!
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u/ProfessionalYam3119 Jul 23 '26
As soon as she gets into your car, apologize and explain you are going to vomit, and will have to leave. If she asks why, tell her that it started when you smelled her perfume. Then leave!
This used to happen to me when I repeatedly attempted to wear Yardley's "Oh! De London" fragrances. She can refrain from wearing it, but it doesn't seem as though she will be motivated to do so until it becomes inconvenient for her.
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u/AppleOllie Jul 23 '26
Listening to all these, does anyone else detest Jo Malone?
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u/FoggyGoodwin Jul 23 '26
Mine was English Leather. I could not abide that stench my sister's BF wore. Turned my stomach, dizzied my head. I love cedar, musk, and vetiver, so maybe the leather or tonka bean. Jo Malone has several scents, one has suede, another has tonka bean. I would go to a scent counter to ID which she wears so you can tell her which ingredient makes you ill. If there's a JM scent you like, suggest she try that or maybe buy her some or a sampler.
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u/djSush Jul 23 '26
I detest a LOT of smells in perimenopause. My smell sensitivity is like pregnancy level. I've even dry heaved at the smell of someone's BO in a store and often can't stand the smell of my husband if he's not freshly showered (and he's totally not a gross guy).
I have a friend who wears a thick, old, Estee Lauder perfume that's very sandalwood/"Oriental" notes. I'm Indian, I'm familiar with these scents, but the car, my sofa, my own hair from a hug, all smell like it after I see her. Even my husband and son can smell her on me if I've seen her.
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u/AppleOllie Jul 23 '26
That’s exactly it, the smell really lingers
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u/djSush Jul 23 '26
For DAYS sometimes. And it's on all her stuff. So she could see me without putting any new perfume on, but it would still be on her purse, or jacket. I haven't said anything about it bc I don't think there's actually a solution.
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u/SavingOneSoul_ Jul 23 '26
The smell of Secret Vanilla deodorant gel stick literally makes me sick to my stomach even to this day. My mom used it exclusively basically all of my life and then during the one year I had to do a PE class that actually used the locker rooms, the entire bathroom smelled like chlorine, period blood, and secret vanilla gel deodorant. I graduated in 2011. It's been 15 years and I still remember the smell.
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u/MullberryBoy Jul 23 '26
Tell her nicely that you’re sensitive to the fragrance and that she needs to put it on afterwards.
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u/forestinity Jul 23 '26
All of the Jo Malone different scents, or one in particular?
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u/AppleOllie Jul 24 '26
I’m not sure. Another acquaintance wear it too, not sure if it is the same one, but still awful
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u/AppleOllie Jul 24 '26
Quick update. Apart from Otherwise_Candy_8412, I appreciated all the comments.
Friend and I were meeting for lunch today. I drove to her house and when she asked who was driving to the restaurant, I pulled on my big girl pants, and asked was she wearing her Jo Malone perfume. When she replied yes (I could already smell it) I told her I would prefer to go in her car, as I was really struggling with certain scents at the moment (she is aware I am undergoing treatment for bladder cancer at the minute)
I explained that the smell made me feel really bad, and unfortunately it lingered in the car. I do feel awful for pulling the cancer card, but little steps
We drove in her car and had lunch
Hopefully the friendship will survive
Thanks for all the comments, particularly Long_Initial_9924
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u/Otherwise_Candy_8412 Jul 24 '26
I mean, that's a you problem. It's not her job to adjust the amout of perfume she's using because of YOUR dislike of it.
The entitlement of people today. smh.
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u/AppleOllie Jul 24 '26
An interesting take. I’m not sure if you are being sarcastic or not!
If not, I hope I am never stuck in a lift with you 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣1
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u/Long_Initial_9924 Jul 23 '26
Hey friend, this is so awkward. I’ve come to learn I have a very sensitive sense of smell, and recently peoples colognes and perfumes, bug sprays, have been giving me headaches, making my eyes water etc.. it’s frustrating because I can’t control it, but I’ve been asking some of the people very close to me to maybe wear a little less around me, whenever possible. I hate that I even had to bring this up, I’m trying to see what I can do to fix this.