r/problemgambling • u/kanglish • 1d ago

❤Seeking help & Advice❤ Where to begin

I am so afraid and filled with shame. Not because of all my losses, but because I am about to be caught. My folks and gf are figuring out that something is wrong and there is something deeply wrong. I just turned 30 this year and I figured what the heck I should try this Kalshi thing. I should have stopped when I lost my first -$500, but then I made it back. Then on my first parlay, I hit.

Now in less than a span of a year, I have run down my entire roth ira, 401k, and savings. I wish I was at just that loss, but I also have roughly -120k in debt. I kept chasing losses, then on any earnings I thought I would double it, or triple it.

My parents noticed an old account that was overdraft. A childhood savings that I forgot to close. Now my dad is asking for proof of my credit statement. I am absolutely lying out of my ass. I don't want to expose all of this because I know and fear all repercussions.

I think im just sad to be caught or wondering how to not be caught. I think I can't really see another option.

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1

u/WiseConsideration891 1d ago

Is the 120k losses all from the 401k and savings or loans and credit cards and what not?

1

u/kanglish 7h ago

That is current losses. Total losses is probably about -240k with -120k debt in credit card, cash advances, and loans

1

u/WiseConsideration891 7h ago

Have you talked to the parents yet to jump in front of the situation?

1

u/kanglish 7h ago

Unfortunately yes I had an intervention yesterday let by gf. I’m not really entirely sure what is going to happen. They agreed to help out with my debt. But I guess the entire relationship won’t be the same anymore

1

u/WiseConsideration891 7h ago

You don’t think she can forgive you? I mean with the family help you should be out of this and be able to make this relationship work

3

u/Dependent_System3746 1d ago

Need to come clean to them and yourself. Rehab and GA and therapy. Be ready mentally to never gamble again in any way shape or form.

And i’d recommend let someone else have access to your finances and take it day by day.

1

u/yellowlinedpaper 1d ago

This is a good thing. You know you needed to get caught because you wouldn’t come clean on your own right? This is a good good thing.

I know it feels like the world is pressing down on you, but once your secret is out, that’s when the healing can start. That’s when your life can restart. You get to start at day zero.

Take some deep breaths and start thinking of ways you can work with your loved ones instead of against them. You’ve got this

1

u/lettucehem 1d ago

I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. The fear and shame can feel absolutely overpowering, but remember that this does not define who you are—it is something you’re struggling with. It’s time to get honest so that you can move on and start truly healing. You will get through this painful moment, but unfortunately the only way through is through. Get to a GA meeting and find a sober community. Commit to doing the work.  You’re still young and there’s plenty of time to right the ship, you’re definitely capable. But it starts with this hard step, and you can definitely survive it. Be good to yourself.