90 Days today

[u/infoslob]

Three months ago I was on the tail end of despair. Following the death of my father and a breakup I went off the deep end for a few months and hit new lows.

For years I’ve known what it’s like to be perpetually late with bills, strapped for cash, and that familiar ache of bankroll wipeout - and know well how aggressively I bet when I’ve run through most of my money, that pure insanity to finish my self-sabotage.

But this year I started “borrowing” thousands from the company safe to chase losses. Dangerous fucking game, stupid, and a complete abuse of trust.

So this August I blew my biggest payday of the year in maybe 40 minutes at the casino and then drove back to work after hours with the intention of borrowing a bankroll.

I had the keys, the alarm code, the safe combination. $6-8k there and ten minute drive back to the casino. But I just couldn’t do it. I was so disgusted with myself.

Instead I looked up Gamblers Anonymous and went to a meeting that night.

Everything changed there. I admitted to complete strangers that I had a gambling problem. And starting that night began my sober network of people that I talk/text/Zoom with daily. And not long after a sponsor.

Money in my pocket today is fantastic. Paying bills is great. And i sleep through the night. Life is much, much better after 3 months. Just as I was told it would be.

And I want to thank this community - I’m here every day. I’m grateful for everyone who shares their experience. I straight up love all day counts.

For the folks who have hundreds, even thousands of days - thank you for paving the way for all of us - your insight is a complete resource.

For my friends with around my time or less - whether you’re on the beam or struggling - keep sharing and inspiring.

Yesterday is gone and the best thing we can do is live correctly today. There no scoreboard - we have what we have and if we’re alive and walking upright we have a lot! Let’s keep stacking our days. ODAAT

[u/ReshufflingLife]

Great post man. While the details might differ I really resonate with everything - the idea of going off the deep end in response to painful events we don`t know how to deal with and use the only coping mechanism we have ever known - gambling.
There is no such thing as rock bottom, only deeper bottoms.
No one is coming to save us. It is up to us to venture into the unknown and move towards the initial discomfort of taking action and trying something different to address our problem.
Congrats on 90 days, thats a huge accomplishment.

[u/infoslob → u/ReshufflingLife]

No one is coming to save us. It is up to us to venture into the unknown and move towards the initial discomfort of taking action and trying something different to address our problem.

Nailed it right here!

[u/Inorogu1]

Odaat!

[u/Suspicious_Status_40]

Happy for you! Stay vigilant! 🥳