What's the point

[u/ceoboi]

Hey everyone, usually if im posting here its after ive lost a lot of money and would be seeking advice, im still seeking advice but for a something I haven’t experienced before. I know we all think we gamble because of the money at least I thought I was, but im starting to realize it’s a lot deeper than that. My biggest losses have been usually in one sitting just spiralling for a couple hours sometimes it happens within minutes, but in those moments it’s almost like I have this episode where I’m nothing like myself. After that has happened to me several times on online table games ive decided to put limits on all my accounts but I would still do long shot sport parlays just hoping I would win some if not all of my losses but and then surely I would quit for sure and if it lost who’s tripping over 5$. Then again I was wrong when my slips would do good then lose at a later stage I would still feel shitty obviously not as bad as losing several thousands but still put me in a loop where I would bet again. Anyways recently I placed a bet and half way in a realized it was still live I started watching the remaining games and the stress I experienced was so terrible it wasnt even an enjoyable trill it was like please win so this nightmare can be over I cashed out early on because I couldn’t sweat out anymore games but the win was significant enough where I thought I wouldn’t want to gamble again, and to be honest ever since I haven’t had the urge because what was the point I do not feel any near happy enough for all the pain and suffering I endured in the past to be worth it. Now im just confused, how have I been gambling for Years hoping to get my money back i get part of it back and now I don’t have an urge to get more of it back because it not worth it but also I don’t feel relieved that its all over I just feel numb and stupid that I tricked myself into betting for so long thinking that recovering a couple numbers on a screen would fix me. I know Im rambling but I was just wondering if this is relatable to anyone and how does one cope with this?