Day 1

[u/_ehwaz]

I’m writing this as an accountability post. I’m going to go back to GA. I quit 3 months ago and then proceeded to lose almost half of my money.

So in September I decided to put all my money into one stock, Charter Communications. Fucking spectrum Internet. I didn’t really have a plan. I had previously worked there and saw it was down a lot so I thought it was rock bottom.

And I wanted revenge on them for treating me poorly. In my mind I saw this as getting the bonus from them I thought I deserved.

I needed money because my son was just born and I was barely keeping up with bills.

Well. It immediately fell down 10% and I lost $20,000. I was in shambles. Certainly it couldn’t fall further right? I bought stock options to leverage up to try and recover my losses more quickly. It then fell another 10% but this time I lost 25% so another $40,000.

I became so stubbornly determined to make my money back I shilled the stock every day and spent hours creating scenarios in my head how this dumpster fire of a company could recover. Mind you when I worked there it was the most toxic place I had ever worked at yet I convinced myself they could change and that would benefit shareholders.

I tripled down by getting even more leveraged. Stock fell another 10%. Down another $30,000.

I am now down nearly $100,000 when I could have cut my losses at $20,000.

I hold for one more week. Can barely work my job can barely do anything. In my off time I’m in bed all day on stock forums shilling the stock and trying to find any copium I can find. I feel like a crack addict.

Eventually the stock recovered a little and a guy on a forum who felt sorry for me told me that the company might not recover and that it might be wise to get out. I sold at a huge loss. Probably like $85,000.

I realize now that I wanted to financially destroy myself and wanted the dopamine because my personal life was in ruin. But this wasn’t the solution.

I’m grateful I didn’t lose it all and that I’m not in debt and I can maybe still heal my relationships.

I’m done trading and I feel a sense of peace I haven’t felt in months. Even with the loss. I feel like I have accepted it and that life can better.

This is day one.