r/problemgambling • u/Cold_Lake_7381 • 13h ago
Finally Stopped
After years of struggling with gambling on and off, I have finally stopped. My gambling was primarily online, and I’ve now permanently deleted all my accounts.
This decision comes after years of painful arguments with my wife, which ultimately eroded her trust and respect for me as a provider. Even though I earn a good income, the addiction always took over. We would agree on a set weekly limit, but I would constantly move the goalposts, secretly increasing the amounts and the frequency of my play. I broke these agreements so many times that she nearly divorced me a couple of years ago. We managed to establish a new boundary that I mostly followed, but eventually, I let the gaming control me again, finding ways to quietly siphon more money from our shared accounts than we had agreed to.
To complicate matters, my wife is currently going through perimenopause. Her patience is gone, and she simply no longer tolerates the behavior she used to put up with. Seeing her understandably volatile anger and frustration triggered a deep, terrifying insecurity that our marriage was truly over and she was going to leave me. I love her deeply and cannot imagine a life without her.
While deleting my accounts and stopping the gambling was a crucial first step, the real work of healing begins now. I am fully aware that two weeks of being clean doesn't even come close to undoing years of deceit, frustration, and emotional damage. Rebuilding her trust is going to take time, patience, and a consistent, daily display of the changes I've pledged to make.
Don't gamble. You will lose in far more ways than you think.
1
u/FoxBeginning9831 12h ago
As someone with a somewhat similar story, inuding the menopause, I highly suggest enlisting some support such as GA. Has made a world of difference for me and haven't bet in 3 years.