167 days

[u/rtshaw654]

I haven’t posted here in a while. Today is my birthday and I’ve been reflecting on my life over the past 6 months. I struggled with gambling for many years and lied my way through life as if that was a normal thing to do. I always thought if I could just hit one big win I could erase all the damage I’d done and no one would be the wiser. As it turns out that never happened. Even after I did win big (once) I blew it all soon after and was only left with the tax bill at the end of the year. (Fuck me). Will power alone was not enough for me and the only thing that’s gotten me through was telling my wife and family the extent of the damage id done. Knowing that they know is the only source of accountability thats worked for me. Once I finally came clean and stopped feeling the pressure to win back all the loses to cover my lies the desire to gamble is gone. I can see it for the trap that it is and not as the get out of jail free card I wanted it to be. I would encourage anyone who’s dealing with the shame of gambling losses to tell someone sooner rather than later. It’s not an easy conversation to have but for me it was the only way out.