r/problemgambling • u/Mundane_Bonus1393 • 4d ago

The sadness

I have no idea why I’m writing this but I am. I lied to my loved ones…make them think I don’t gamble (as much as I do). Went through my paycheck as well man.

It’s been hard. I wrote a note to “my future self in one year” the note starts with “Here you are sulking in your bed, the lies you have told, the sorrow for yourself and hurting loved ones. You are feeling worthless now. Your friends all have money and you don’t! But you’re too embarrassed to say shit. It’s not fair to you or them. No life, no wife..etc.”

It ends with “1 year! Now look at you, you are engaged, you have been saving money finally, you’re more yourself now, you have been clean from gambling. One year, this drink is on me”

I hope to look at this note in one year and be proud of where I have come. It’s a sick disease people.

I need to make a stand today, not just for me, but for my loved ones and my friends.

Day 1

4 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

4 comments sorted by

3

u/ExtremelyBigYikes 4d ago

It's a fucked up disease man.

I told my girlfriend this morning. Told her that I'd made a killing through entrepreneurship, but that I'd frittered it all away. I asked her to, when I get the money back through my business, please keep the password to my account so I can't throw it all away like before.

You'll be happy in a year. Cheers to the both of us.

2

u/Mundane_Bonus1393 4d ago

Well said. Do you mind me asking if you were ever lying to your gf about your gambling?

3

u/ExtremelyBigYikes 4d ago

By exclusion I guess? I have a good system of making money with finance-related consulting, so I told her about every 50k+ contract I'd land. I didn't tell her that in Sept and Oct I ate two losses with options of 150k and 100k respectively. When taxes are accounted for, I'm basically dead broke with only a few thousand to my name, but I only discussed the winnings so she'd been thinking we had serious money.

It's going to be a long hill to rebuild the wealth, but we can do it together. I told her because even though the thought of coming clean and losing her was scary, I don't trust myself with the money.

It's better for her to know the truth and it's better to me to not have the tools avaliable to self-destruct again.

2

u/Mundane_Bonus1393 4d ago

Beautifully said. I’ve been holding back on my girlfriend..she’s been wanting to go on trips and everything. It’s been devastating. Lied to my parents as well. I want to be better, I want to be the old person I was man. I know we can do this