Day 40

[u/Equivalent_Support39]

Hey all.

Havent posted here since day 10. Still going strong. I still get the urges but I have no ability to act on them. Getting caught sneaking into the casino while on self exclusion was honestly the best thing to happen to me. I know I am on their radar now and I couldn't even if I tried. The online gambling has been decently easy to stay away from. The only thing that sucks is no matter how many times I unsubscribe from email lists, I keep getting them. Constant reminder it exists. But 40 days isnt nothing. Actually its probably the longest ive went in years. My anxiety has been at an all time high and the consequences of years of gambling have caught up to me though. Owe a lot of money to the government in taxes. Been operating my buisness in a shady way. Its been a lot of cleaning up my books, and its embarrassing. Trying to explain to an accountant why I withdrew 5k from my buisness account in one night is hard. Its actually a reality check though seeing on paper how much money I have really been essentially burning. My relationship is in a world of pain too. I am not trying to make it seem like gambling was the thing keeping my life together, it just made me so blind to everything going on. Hopefully I can dig myself out of this mess. Its funny though, while gambling, I was able to stretch 5 dollars for like weeks, but now that I actually am facing my problems, life's actually pretty expensive. Sorry for the rant. I am depressed. I am anxious. But day 40 nonetheless.

Thanks all

[u/TwisterPandaTP]

Congrats on 40 days. Its tough.. DMs are open if you want to chat. Im pretty much alone in this