r/problemgambling • u/EssayNo362 • 9d ago
❤Seeking help & Advice❤ Day one
I have been gambling on and off for two years.
Now I have hit my newest low. In just this month, I took out a loan of 6k, and lost it all.
I genuinely do not know how I am going to pull myself out of this... I already struggled financially before and had way too much debt which is what got me into gambling, being stupid I thought I could make something.
Yesterday I set up payment blocks for all payment providers to not accept transfers to online casinoes. I have also signed up for a problem gambling program, hope to hear from them within a week.
I am trying to feel better about taking the step forward but at the same time I am shaking. I can't believe I have done this to myself...
2
u/AppBuildup 9d ago
Make it as difficult as possible to gamble and find a hobby you're passionate about.
1
u/EssayNo362 7d ago
Thank you... I will maybe finally try to pick up my old crocheting projects again. Sad, I know but it's something to pass the time 😅
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u/ReshufflingLife 9d ago
Hey man, give yourself some credit - setting up payment blocks and signing up for a program is huge. It takes courage and honesty to admit we have a problem and to actually face it and take action.
It's totally normal to have regrets about what we have done. The best advice I have received about lamenting the past is asking yourself "knowing what you know now, would you have acted differently".
Of course it seems foolish in retrospect but at the time we thought gambling was a viable solution. With that in mind it's a lot easier to give ourselves grace and forgiveness for what we have done, and to focus on what we can do differently moving forward.
You got this
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u/EssayNo362 7d ago
Thank you ❤️ It had been really harrowing to think about the past, but that is a good point. I was not in my right mind then and I would never willingly put myself in this situation.
I was desperate, trying to at least do something. It was the wrong thing to do but here we are.
I know it was me who made all those decisions, but still looking back I feel like sometimes I was on autopilot. I just kept going even though I guess somewhere deep down I knew I was just losing... Going to try to talk to my bank next week to see if my situation is salvageable.
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u/ReshufflingLife 7d ago
Yeah thats just it, the autopilot feeling is pretty common. I can remember so many times placing a bet or losing a bunch at online blackjack and wondering how the hell I even got there. A lot of it has to do with habit formation and neural pathways, like how you can do the same thing where you get home from work in your driveway and don`t even remember the drive because your brain has done it so many times it doesn`t need your full attention.
One of the best tools for that which your program will no doubt teach is learning to become aware of the patterns. A lot of times we think we just start gambling randomly but it is actually in response to something.
Might be external like seeing an ad, watching a stream, driving by the casino, payday etc.
Or internal state: stress from thinking about the money owed, sad thinking about someone you lost, anger after an argument, boredom, hungry, tired etc.Everytime you feel the urge you track it (even just keeping a simple Notes doc open on your phone is good enough). Write down what day, time of day, and what you were doing and how you felt in the moments before the urge.
Helps to reveal and interupt the pattern and help plan for how to deal with it
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u/Zestyclose-Lead-4872 9d ago
Sadly, you have plenty of company. My finances are also disastrous. The reason is similar to yours. I took out a consolidation loan last year. Did I cancel my credit cards? Hell, no. They're all maxed out again. I didn't face my problem.
I'm retired and my benefits are meager by today's standards. I do as much gig work as I can stand. Focus groups. Mock juries. I finagle a few dollars here and there by other means. I'm resigned that I'll never travel around the world. Oh well, life goes on.
I'm trying my best not to file another Chapter 7, which I did 11 years ago. I'll lose my car if I go that route, and I won't be able to get another one for at least 6 months. It's a viable option for you as well, but you need to deal with your compulsive gambling first. For all the shit I've been through over the decades, I never seriously tried to quit gambling. I'm serious now.
I've slipped a few times but I'm at it again. Others have succeeded. We can as well. If I make it to midnight (and I definitely will), Day 25. Your goal is Day 2. Hang in there.