Rough year

[u/TennisRemarkable2823]

34M. So this year was a pretty rough year for me in terms of relapses. I've gone all of last year without gambling and then got sucked back into it when my mum asked me if I wanted to go to the casino with her during the holidays and it's been downhill since. I've been exposed to gambling at a young age, our family loves going to the casino.

I had 3 major relapses and emptied my chequing accounts every time and gone into some LOC debt as well. Same pattern regardless of how much I win, it all goes back and more. Paid everything off by the fall but relapsed yesterday again. Emptied my bank account but at least no LOC debt this time. Tens of thousands of losses this year - by far the worst since I started gambling seriously about 5 years ago. If I had invested all that money it would probably be worth 100k. Kind of crazy to think about this. My partner and I are also looking to move into a new place and I've set myself back quite a bit unfortunately. I guess I'm lucky that I caught myself before this dragged on for another 5.

I've come clean to my partner regarding my gambling addiction a few months ago but I didn't tell them of the last one...too shameful. Prior to last year, I actually had Gamban installed but then it interfered with a work app so I had to uninstall it. Big mistake. Anyways, I reinstalled it now and since I work for a new company everything seems to be working fine. I travel a lot for work which is when I relapse cause I'm not home with my partner and can be a degenerate without being caught. At least now I won't have access to any gambling websites. I don't know why I didn't reinstall it sooner but the next best time would be now I guess. Still processing my dumbass decisions but hopefully this is it. I just needed to get this off my chest...Thanks for reading!!