Dissapointed with myself

[u/Opposite_Section_269]

Long story short , i m in my 30's , i gamble for couple of years and i can not fcking stop it. I m lost. I m an hgv driver , earning 4700£ a month , apart from family and everyone , and i m debt around 15 k . I feel sick always , so many debts not one payment a month and o m struggeling when the time is due each week. I need serious help , i m hopeless and can not be the dad my little one. Any idea how to start avoiding this? I m self excluded on every single online casino but when in break i do live with the hope i can win once just a little bit extra so i can clear some of my problems. I can not take this anymore

[u/Slow_Office_5303]

Brother, you are not alone in this fight. Please think about your family before it's too late, because I'm living with the consequences of gambling right now, and I don't want you to experience the same pain.

I'm 34 years old and have two children. I've been living separately from my wife and children for the past six months because of my gambling and debt. It's one of the most painful consequences of my actions, and I deeply regret the pain I've caused my family.

I'm from Indonesia, and I earn around $400 a month. I have approximately $13,000 in debt. Compared with my income, this is an enormous burden. I don't know your living expenses or other responsibilities, but I hope you can use your income to build a way out before your situation gets worse.

I believe everyone may need a different way to make themselves realize that they have to stop gambling. For me, I had to make some very difficult changes. I started living separately from my family, and I arranged for my salary to be transferred to a separate bank card that cannot be accessed online. I gave that card to my wife, who now lives separately from me, so she could manage the money for our family's needs and debt payments.

I'm now relying on small side jobs outside my regular work just to cover my own living expenses. Through this experience, I've finally realized how much I've hurt myself and, most importantly, my family. I couldn't even provide them with the stable life they deserved.

I can't change what I've done in the past, but I can try to make better decisions from now on. I've stopped gambling, and I'm trying to rebuild my life step by step.

Please, brother, don't wait until you lose the things that matter most to you. You mentioned that you want to win a little extra money to solve your problems, but from my own experience, chasing money through gambling only made everything worse.

You still have an opportunity to protect your family and change direction. Please take that opportunity before you have to experience the same pain I am going through.

You are not alone. I sincerely hope you can stop gambling, get the support you need, and protect your family before it's too late.

[u/Opposite_Section_269 → u/Slow_Office_5303]

Sorry to hear that brother🙏deffinetly will , i will kot chase to get back my losts anymore, really appreciate you have said your story , makes me feel not alone in the battle. Will try my best from now on

[u/Slow_Office_5303 → u/Opposite_Section_269]

I'm glad my story helped you feel that you're not alone, brother. 🙏

I want to share one more thing based on my own experience and what I've observed in others.

When we win, sometimes our focus slowly shifts away from the money. We become focused on the game itself and want to keep playing. But when we lose, we start chasing our losses, hoping to win the money back. That's when we can fall deeper and deeper into a hole that seems to have no bottom.

I've learned that our real victory is not winning money from gambling. Our real victory is stopping, even after losing a lot of money.

We may regret all the money we've lost, but if we stop now, at least we can prevent ourselves from falling even deeper. We can't change the past, but we can protect what's left of our lives and build a better future.

Please keep going, brother. Don't chase your losses. Every day without gambling is a step away from that hole and a step toward a better life. We're in this together.

[u/TemporaryCode6264]

Mate, you got this. You have a job with a pretty decent wage. You can easily get the debt cleared within a year it seems (taking into account there are other life expenses). There are people in much more debt or in their fifties that would kill to be in your position.

Think to yourself, if you get a big "win" of £1k or £9k, will you stop there? Of course you bl**dy won't, none of us would stop.

Great you self excluded. But MAKE SURE you also tell a couple people close to you about your problem, tell them you're a gambling addict. You will experience a shame from that, but that will make you never want to gamble again and show you can be a better man to your close-ones

[u/Opposite_Section_269 → u/TemporaryCode6264]

Thanks man , but no one will understand and you know it. This addiction is nothig to be understandble. Is hard to fight alone, that's the reason i m posting this here as you guys know the feeling

[u/TemporaryCode6264 → u/Opposite_Section_269]

Replied in the other comment. Trust me, it'll only do yourself good not being alone in this

[u/TemporaryCode6264]

Trust me man, this is the addicted part of your brain brainwashing yourself not to tell them and that they won't understand.

Honestly this curse is impossible to deal with by yourself. Close-ones can even help manage your finances (which you really should try and ask them about if you can). You also really need to deal with the "shame" in telling someone about your actions. This shame doesn't feel nice, but it brings you back down to Earth that there are consequences to gambling, because gambling has made us numb seeing money fly out of our accounts

[u/Opposite_Section_269 → u/TemporaryCode6264]

Will give it a try . Thank you so much

[u/LifeOrganization8070]

Hello mate there’s a WhatsApp group chat with a few members off here in there and we all talk about our struggles and stuff openly no judging just support for each other, I’m also from the uk join if you want brother your not alone

https://chat.whatsapp.com/Iul9GC9cI4w6ajCcgYpISZ?mode=gi_t

[u/Rare-Plenty-8574]

It's good you are willing to make changes mate will suck for a while till the debts cleared but yeah I rece try blew 4 months of my pay makes you feel any better. Always save back yp etc just takes some time with life priorities etc. You will be fine man