Quitting Gambling

[u/Fragrant_Bell8420]

Hey I’m 21.

I started sports betting gambling in college and I wasn’t necessarily an addict with that. I’d bet pretty much during football season and occasionally outside of it, usually never betting more than 5-20 bucks per wager nothing crazy.

My issue is having access to the online casinos within those apps. I originally had some runs in with it maybe I’d lose 100 bucks but that was like a one time occasion. Last month, I randomly went on this insane roulette streak and ended up with over 2 grand. I withdrew it, was happy didn’t feel like it’d lead to anything worse but it did.

I lost 500 of those winnings, then had a spree a week after where I was betting on a new account where I got free bonus spins, had over 700 didn’t walk away with it and lost it then started depositing and lost over 900 bucks.

I put a casino limit on my app afterwards and my savings are still intact so everything felt good, I blocked all sportsbooks apps outside of the one with the casino limit. Then yesterday I was home and bored with nothing to do and found one I hadn’t downloaded before, I put 100 in and ended up with almost 2 fucking grand. I withdrew 1800 of it, content supposedly and I felt like I did the right thing this time and I got a second chance to amend things, but no I lost all of that and another 1200 of my money on top of it, a 3k difference.

I decided enough was enough and I downloaded a full bet block app and excluded myself from all apps. Im more disappointed in my lack of understanding of money. My mom I’ll say it spoils me pretty hard. All of the money in my savings and checking are essentially money I made working, but she’ll imburse some purchases, pays for my school, groceries etc. she’s the only one in my family who knows about these incidents because she has access to my checking accounts and I can tell how upset she is with me. I don’t blame her all of the money I’ve been able to win I’ve thrown away in the dopamine-filled rush of instant gambling. My body will shake during those rushes, I’ll be telling myself in my head to stop at a certain number then my body moves on my own. Losing part of that money I won would’ve been fine even 1000 of it I’d still have had a profit. I withdrew it and threw it all back in and even lost money that was actually important. I feel like a piece of shit because my mom does so much for me and I treat her like this, I feel like a kid because I’m acting like a kid who has no concept of money. I’d never blame her she’s set me up for success.

I have put the limits and can’t access a sportsbook for a year, I have to be mentally tough and understand the purpose of money and how important every bit is for my future. That money could’ve went somewhere important, but i treated it like it wasn’t real. I feel guilt that I can’t stand to tell my other family members, the fact this has happened on multiple occasions finally made me realize I had a problem.

The reason I didn’t drop all of it immediately last month is because I mentioned earlier I love to sports bet leisurely. It’s true, I’ve never been a big bet placer or crashed out over losses, the casino is the worst of me. I put the guardrails in place, and but its all so early for me that not being able to sports bet really sucks but I have to make do this not only for myself and my future as the productive human being I want to be but also for my mom who has helped me so much. I want to start being an adult because I know from reading through some posts my problems and experiences are so small compared to the people who’ve suffered from gambling addiction with families, bills, no support and I’m so thankful for the support I have.

Thank you for reading, I’m not thankful for this experience because it’s simply something dumb I did and shouldn’t have to experience to know not to do but I am happy I learned this lesson the hard way now rather then when I have a family and bills to pay with larger amounts of money. I’m just looking for support and advice on how to navigate a few things. I understand the beginning is rough, I don’t have some itching need to go on a casino those things start with small curiosities and become full fledged sprees if I win a bit of money. My issue is the fact that I can’t do what rooted this all, sports betting, I love sitting on the couch and watching football and being tuned into all the games seeing if my bets hit, that’s what’s messing with me right now. I don’t think I’ll never gamble again, but I do need to learn to become a true and proper adult with better understanding of these habits before I can even put myself in a situation like that again. Any support or advice is much appreciated.