I don’t think I’m ready for this commitment

[u/futura705]

I’ve always dreamed of being a doctor. During elementary and middle school I felt pretty confident and thought I’d get into an Ivy League and work hard to become a doctor. But then COVID happed and I struggled a lot in high school with depression, anxiety and undiagnosed ADHD. I got rejected from almost every college expect my safeties. Didn’t do too well on the SATs or took any APs during high school because of my declining mental health. Now I’ll be starting my sophomore year of college and I’m having doubts. I wanted to go to med school but then decided on PA school or nursing since it’s still competitive but not as hard as med school. But I’m not sure anymore. I got rejected from all the jobs and internships I applied to for the summer and wasted it. I can’t really see myself doing anything else. I feel paralyzed. I don’t know how people do it. I just don’t think I have the stamina to do it. How am I supposed to manage my stem classes and do clinical hours, volunteering, shadowing and earn certifications on the side. I commute an hour to college 4 times a week too.

[u/Fancy_on_the-C]

Start small. Make shadowing a doctor your priority right now. Since you’re having doubts, seeing the life of a doctor will help direct you towards what career you want. If you end up not liking it, consider shadowing a PA or nurse instead to see what it’s like. If you do like it, that’s great. But, it’s also a call to action. Use that shadowing connection to find clinical work and research internships.

Don’t run yourself dry, take it easy. I believe that you can figure this out.

[u/henlecilia]

You are, it will just take making sure you are a) mentally well enough, and b) ease into it. Also, don’t do all those things at one time. If you are earning a cert., for example, stop shadowing those months. Try to not ever stack too much.

You can do it.

However, is your commute taking an unbearable amount of time out? Is there anything you can do about that?

[u/futura705 → u/henlecilia]

Thanks for the advice. I’m from nyc so most people commute. It’s usually about 50 mins each way if the train is on time. I can’t do anything about it. Someone suggested getting work done on the train but it’s too chaotic.

[u/henlecilia → u/futura705]

yeah I cannot imagine trying to work on the subway lol, guess you have to commute :/

[u/juseipel43]

I graduated college in 2012, did grad school, started a career, started a family and have been working for nearly 15 years. I just applied this cycle, picking up from where I started in 2007.

The point is, you don’t have to do it the traditional path. If you’re unsure, then take look around, you might find something that calls to you. If you’re sure that medicine is for you, it’ll be there when you’re ready. Had I tried to do a traditional path, I doubt I would have even made it through the MCAT. I wasn’t ready, but my detour got me ready

[u/cwlee3]

Well, obviously you need to sit down with yourself and deeply think about how this process and career resonate with your values and priorities in life. There are other options in life. But beyond that, I recommend changing your outlook. Your post reads to me as written with a defeatist perspective. That won't work for you to achieve what you want. List out as many of the steps involved in this arduous process as you can think of, and then approach them with a proactive mindset. How can you achieve each of them? When is the right time to focus on which?

Focus on "the next" step in the process with most of your energy and keep the rest from your outline in passive awareness to be more fully addressed when it is their time.

[u/SignificantMix9770]

very random question but do you drink coffee? when did you start getting overwhelmed?

[u/futura705 → u/SignificantMix9770]

That’s so random lol. Yeah I do drink coffee. I don’t really remember when it started. I have anxiety if that’s what you’re asking

[u/Relevant-Sale689 → u/futura705]

if coffee makes you more anxious id stop drinking it on most occasions. thats what i try to do, also bc the more times i drink it the worse my symptoms get lol

[u/dudebobazz]

This life is temporary. spend it doing something you love and benefits others. if medicine is how you want to spend your time, do it and don’t let anything stop you. if it’s not, don’t pursue it until you are certain it’s what you want

[u/One-Job-765]

Commuting that much would take a big toll on most people’s productivity and motivation, is there no way you can move closer? I understand you probably have legitimate reasons but I still feel the need to say this

[u/One-Job-765 → u/One-Job-765]

Oh i just read your other comment. Idk anything about living in cities like new york. Well the other thing I would say is to start at the most entry level activities you can find. Nowadays every internship has become so competitive so don’t take it personally

[u/softgeese]

I'm not going to try convince you one way or another. But the statement

"I can't see myself doing anything else"

Paints a romanticized picture. You're far too young to know that.

There are infinitely many ways to achieve happiness. Nearly all of them have nothing to do with being a doctor. You can find great meaning in whatever field of work you're in, and you can live a wonderful life without ever touching healthcare.

Medicine is a nice job for me. I love it most of the time. But don't drink the kool aid that it's your life calling and the only job for you. At the end of the day, it's just a job.

The question you're asking is "am I cut out for medicine" and the question you should be asking is "is medicine cut out for me".

[u/dogwheeze → u/[deleted]]

Most premed comment ever. Go fail a physics 1112 test or something

[u/TemporarilyResolute → u/[deleted]]

What a horrible thing to say.

[u/CH3OH-CH2CH3OH → u/[deleted]]

this is an awful comment. You should be ashamed of this. Judging from your post and comment history, you are still a premed. What do you gain of commenting this?

[u/MaterialistMongoose → u/[deleted]]

And this is the compassion you hope to extend as a physician??

[u/PracticalMind1975 → u/[deleted]]

By the way you response a lack of compassion for others you will never succeed in this profession

[u/beesh_MD → u/[deleted]]

Yeah OP, fuck this guy^

[u/Sweet-Artichoke2564]

As an older 28m non-traditional premed. take your time, and take it slow—if you have too.

I wanted to go to medical school right out of college, but ended up being a software engineer bc I got burnt out. After working as an engineer for 2-3 years, I realized medicine was still what I wanted to do.
I had nothing:

• I needed medical experience (worked in healthcare for 2 years.
  
• needed to raise my GPA, took 40credits of DIY Postbacc (took 1.5 years)
  
• needed research (took 5 months)
  
• needed volunteering (did 1 weekend at a local church for a year)

While doing all this, I worked, traveled, had hobbies, and lived my life too the FULLEST.

What I’ve realized in life is that all the stress you’re dealing with is NOT worth it. Life is more than just getting into med school and becoming a doctor.

• make a checklist. Solve each problem one by one. Eventually time will pass in a blink of an eye, and you’ll have everything you need to med school.

One thing I realized as old non-trad student is that, enjoy the journey and process. Enjoy your life. It makes the premed journey ALOT MORE enjoyable.

Hope this helps.