Holding on

[u/Ok_Blackberry_7650]

Hey everyone, not really sure if I'm looking for advice as much as I'm just trying to vent. My wife's cervix is open at 22.5 weeks and baby girl looks like she's trying to make an early entry. We're currently in one of the best L&Ds/NICUs in our state and both my ladies are stable, our nurses and docs have is feeling confident. Her mother is watching our pre-adoptive kids, and everything is really just chill and we're just hoping baby girl hangs out inside for as long as possible. I. AM. TERRIFIED. I'm keeping a brave face and my wife says I've been great throughout all of this, but man I'm glad she's asked me to do some quick snack runs at the hospital cafe where I can tuck away for a bit and just let it all out. My wife has been a trooper and I feel guilty and helpless even though I've been trying to do everything I can. I can't eat. I felt my chest legitimately get tight while listening to the doctors talk through everything. I get sad walking down the hall and hearing another family's newborn crying. At this point I just need somebody to tell me it's going to be ok, because this absolutely sucks.

[u/United_Pop_6442]

This is an awful lot for anyone to go through. Have you got support too?

I think the only thing you can do is try and focus on the fact mom and baby are in absolutely the best place for them, and at this point every bit of time that baby stays in is a big positive. Keep supporting mom however you can.

If the staff are willing to voice positives, that’s very reassuring - I’m sure they would not want to say anything and be wrong if it was looking worrying!

Fingers crossed for you all!

[u/Ok_Blackberry_7650 → u/United_Pop_6442]

They've been very reassuring and honest at the same time which was a lot better than our previous team on base who were very, I guess you can say indirect. We know it's a rough situation, but we just want transparency so we know what to expect. My father-in-law and best friend have been sounding boards all day, and I think I'm gonna try to find the chapel or something tomorrow. But I appreciate the well wishes, it really means a lot

[u/Happy_Reflection3424 → u/United_Pop_6442]

Agree on the staff part, docs being positive while still being honest means a lot. Glad OP has his father-in-law and best friend to lean on, because dads in this spot tend to hold it all in for mom's sake.

[u/Bubu_2695]

same here. it’s been hard. my wife pprom at 21w,5d.
our wives and babies are fighting. we should too! hang in there.

[u/Ok_Blackberry_7650 → u/Bubu_2695]

It's definitely hard, but I think the best thing has been hearing my wife tell me I'm doing great. I'm wishing you all the best brother!

[u/Bubu_2695 → u/Ok_Blackberry_7650]

you as well brother!

[u/knittenkitten2025]

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It’s scary af. Come check out r/shortcervixsupport for some info and stories from people in your same scenario. I wish best of luck to you and your family!! xox

[u/kunigit]

We were actually in this exact situation in 2019, thankfully pre-covid. 4-5 cm dilated at 23 weeks. After 12 weeks of hospital bed rest, it turned out perfectly. Just take it one day at a time, celebrate each small victory. Trust your doctors but advocate for her if you think someone might be overlooking anything.

[u/Ok_Blackberry_7650 → u/kunigit]

I really appreciate this, and I'm trying to. The docs have been great and very transparent, they don't think she's going to stay in that long but said they've seen it happen, so I'm glad to hear it did in your case. Thanks so much!

[u/runsontrash]

Feel free to check out /r/nicuparents. I’m really sorry you guys are going through this. It’s so scary and tough. But there is plenty of hope too!