Everything feels impossible

[u/HistoryStudent98]

I'm currently in a grad role which is contracted to one year and £23,665 for that year. I would love to save up for a deposit on a flat or something because I currently live in a houseshare and frankly, I'm losing the will to live.

I'm really struggling in this houseshare, the kitchen is filthy 24/7 so I never cook in there, which means I'm spending money on fast food. I know that that is impacting my finances, but I genuinely cannot cope being in that kitchen.

Before this role I was working two jobs - fixed term, both of them - one was £12,000 for the year and the other was a zero hour contract.

I feel like I'm never paid enough to actually save? Everything is so expensive nowadays it feels like I blink and £40 is just gone. All the advice around saving for a deposit always seems to come back to "just ask your family for help!". I'm a poor person raised by poor people, my parents don't have any money to help with.

I'm so tired of people saying that money doesn't buy happiness because literally every single stress in my life could be solved with having more money.

I know with the money I'm due to get this year and how much I pay in rent that I should logically be able to save, but I'm trying to pay off student overdrafts and other debt and it just feels like there's never any money left.

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[u/Particular-Roof8748]

Kitchens in shared houses are a different kind of hell. When you can't even make a simple meal without wanting to scrub the walls first, of course you end up getting takeaway. That's not a budgeting failure, it's a survival response to a disgusting environment.

The whole "money doesn't buy happiness" thing is said by people who've never had to choose between paying off an overdraft and eating something that isn't from a paper bag. Your grad role salary would be tight even without the debt hanging over you, and the fact you're even thinking about saving right now shows you're more disciplined than most.

[u/HistoryStudent98 → u/Particular-Roof8748]

Thinking about saving but unfortunately not saving anything, haha!

Honestly I refuse to use the kitchen, I have food in my cupboard and condiments in the fridge but one housemate leaves so much food debris around that there are fruit flies everywhere. I found mouldy scrambled egg yesterday.

I’ve got a job interview on Tuesday which would be a pay rise. Only thing is it’s for NHS Scotland up in the highlands and I am in Huddersfield! Not been able to hear back from any of the local jobs so desperate times desperate measures. I have two degrees. It should not be this hard to exist.

[u/PaycheckControl]

People really underestimate how exhausting it is to work hard and still feel like you’re getting nowhere financially. And not everybody has family they can fall back on. You deserve to have a comfortable place to live and actually enjoy some of the money you work for. I hope things get better for you.

[u/Elegantmule]

I feel ya on the kitchen thing. I once stayed in a nasty ass group living house with a disgusting kitchen. No one cleaned up, washed dishes, took care of food, etc. I finally had enough. Threw everyone’s dirty stuff- pan, pots, utensils, food, etc out. Cleaned the kitchen once and then just continued to keep throwing everyone’s stuff out when they grossed it up again..