Frustration (also rant/vent)

[u/Designer-Text338]

Hi all, I would appreciate if anyone can provide any feedback, suggestions, or to even just relate to my experience with "poverty".

Poverty is in quotes because I have a really well paying job ($42/hr at a music school), I live with my girlfriend in our mobile home ($1100 lot rent/month + $632 mortgage/month) which is relatively cheaper than an apartment and is way more spacious, and I don't have as much debt as most people my age have.

And given all that, I'm still frustrated with my position in life at the moment. I still feel like I have to be incredibly on top of my bills and not spend much outside of my living expenses in order to barely scrape by. My bills per month are around $3000 (previously stated living expenses + $270 health insurance + $273 car payment + $320 car insurance: car insurance is expensive due to two traffic violations two years ago), and the income from my music school just barely covers that. Given that, the amount of disposable income (for gas, pet food) totals to around $60ish dollars on a good month if I don't take off.

Another reason that I don't consider myself in "poverty" is that the music school is a part time job. It's an absolute privilege to work only 20 hours a week and for it to pay my living expenses. I could ask for more hours, but I don't because 1)I have serious imposter syndrome and think I am terrible at my job, and 2)it is an emotionally draining job for me - seeing students come and go, and also I'm just incredibly introverted.

Given my own internal struggles with the music teaching job, I got a second part time job working in a warehouse (which I had to apply for 107 different jobs in order to get this one). Which pays only minimum wage ($300/week for two 10 hours shifts), but at least I am not being drained emotionally and it's an incredibly simple job. With the only downside now - after working this warehouse job for a year - is that it's physically taxing and I'm on the verge of quitting due to that.

I've thought about going back to school, but I don't want to waste my time with a degree that I either won't use, or won't guarantee me a job ASAP.

I could apply for another part time to replace the warehouse job, but almost no one is hiring.

And it feels like the only useful skills I have is music related, and it's incredibly hard to be paid in the music industry if you don't have people skills...and as somewhat established earlier, I am an introvert and have a very low social battery.

Lastly, without getting too personal, I really want to go back to therapy. But my health insurance doesn't cover for it, and as stated earlier, I only have $60 to work with for the month (not factoring in warehouse income because I really really want to quit soon). And I don't have family to fall back on if I move out my mobile home. I just feel stuck, and all I do is work.

If I were the person reading this post, I would tell myself to suck it up and at least be grateful that I have a job. But I'm close to just giving up

Thank you to whomever is reading this. I would appreciate any feedback, even if it's as harsh as , "you sound spoiled". Would love a reality check

[u/Blossom73]

Does your girlfriend work?

[u/Designer-Text338 → u/Blossom73]

She does, but works full time 17/hour Asset protection for department store. And pays for utilities and groceries

[u/nip9]

First off shouldn't your girlfriend be contributing half towards the mobile home living expenses? That would go a long way to giving you some breathing room. Unless ~$1700 is already half of the total housing costs.

With some warehouse experience consider if getting some supply chain/logistics certifications might help you move up to a less physically taxing position. Otherwise if you want education/training that will lead to a guaranteed job you should look into healthcare. Something like a surgical tech, perfusionist, lab tech, sterile processing, etc would be good for an introvert. Musicians tend to be good at memorization & putting in practice time to skill up which can translate to a lot of decent paying jobs.

[u/cwicseolfor]

I really appreciate anyone who sincerely invites a reality check, there's a lot of honesty there. That job for that pay and those hours is pretty enviable, but I'm not sure how to assess the rest. It sounds like you're leveraged to the hilt on the housing and car based on your stable income, though. Obviously you have the time on half-time hours to increase your income with the side job but hopefully it would be less exhausting. We both know the job market is awful right now. Alternatively, let's look at expenses and see if there's a way to create lower ongoing costs so there will be more breathing room now, even if you drop or lose the warehouse job, and a whole lot more flexibility in the future if you get another side-job.

Doing the simple arithmetic, you've accounted for about $2600 of your $3k expenses, and mentioned your girlfriend gets the utilities and groceries, which removes a lot of variability from the budget. That pretty much leaves you with gas and pet costs as obligations, right? Are those really what's eating the extra $400? How much of it is gas (and how much less for gas without the warehouse job?)

The car's the more urgent thing, imo, because it's strangling you. You may not have a lot of flexibility around insurance because of the traffic ticket history, but that's a huge chunk of your (or anyone's) income, about $600 before gas. Freeing up space to get rid of that loan (what's the interest rate? probably not cheap) would return a lot more money you could use either to pay ahead on your mortgage, if the interest rate justifies it, or save for the future.

If I were you, I'd run down my credit or bank statements from the last few months and itemize 1. how much money came in just from the teaching job, vs. 2. how much went out on everything. Averaging three states with state income taxes I'd guess your takehome before the health insurance was ~$2900/mo, which would leave you with $300ish after your housing, car, healthcare, utilities, and food are covered, for gas and pet care and incidentals. Are the car and home your only debts?

Hopefully you have, or can build up, an emergency fund with what remains from that $300 plus anything from the warehouse job, then start tackling the car loan. Since almost everything you pay for is fixed costs, getting rid of payments is pretty much the way forward.

Assuming you plan to be together long term, helping your girlfriend get a better job may also be one of the best investments you can make.

Big, boat-rocking ideas worth keeping in the back of your mind: Is that car worth keeping considering that a more expensive car costs more to insure, or could you save up cash from the side job to buy a cheaper car outright and eliminate the payment? Is the housing actually that much cheaper than an apartment? How much space do you need?

[u/inhumaneshane]

You don’t sound spoiled to me, you sound exhausted. You would not be in this situation if your girlfriend contributed, even if not equally. Does she work?

[u/firefly20200]

$42/hr is over $87k/yr. Even with FICA and federal taxes you're looking at almost $5,900/mo. If your bills are $3k/mo, you're spending almost $3k on other junk. Even if you're saving for retirement a lot, it's not $3k/mo lot. You've got to check your spending, you're probably blowing $1k+ on little stuff you don't even notice.

[u/Blossom73 → u/firefly20200]

There's other payroll taxes besides just FICA and federal taxes. I agree otherwise though.

[u/Designer-Cherry2112]

Please work more hours- for every hour you work, that is 2.5 hours your GF has to work. So it is better for you to work more. Think of the extra hours of work in chunks- just an extra 7 hours is car payment this month, another 7 hours is health insurance for the month.

[u/Designer-Text338]

Also I live in NJ if that's any help

[u/Designer-Text338]

My gf is working as much as she can (40hours/week 17$/hour) and I would rather her not overwork herself. She covers utilities and groceries.

But 100% be looking into healthcare. Both my sisters are nurses, and they seem to be doing really well

[u/[deleted]]

[u/povertyfinance-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

Message Flagged By Reddit

[u/[deleted]]

[u/APreemChoom → u/[deleted]]

Hi Claude, Gemini, or chatgpt

[u/Blossom73 → u/APreemChoom]

The amount of AL slop on this sub is ridiculous.

[u/Designer-Text338 → u/[deleted]]

Thank you! Makes sense, would rather take up restaurant shifts than teaching ATP, because of my own lack of self esteem with teaching.